SINISTER INCORPORATED

The Federation Against Nuts And Things In Chocolate Sweets

Take a look at these sweets...

They look nice, don't they?

Nice & chewy.

Tasty.

Yummy.

Hmmmm...

 

THEY ARE POISON!

There is an evil cancer in our society.

Dangerous psychopaths are allowed to roam the streets. Psychotic frightful people with an obsessive, dangerous, almost carnal desire to meddle with the very fabric of our society.

Seemingly ordinary at first, they travel through life posing as normal level-headed folk, apparently without a care in the world.

But deep within their sinister, twisted minds, they hide a secret hunger that threatens to engulf us all...

Who are these people?

What is their hideous purpose?

Well may you ask...

We, the secret members of F.A.N.A.T.I.C.S. have dedicated our very LIVES to uncovering this cadre of lunatics. We will not rest until the cancer has been excised from our society.

WE WILL NOT REST UNTIL WE HAVE PUT AN END TO THE OBSESSION THAT DRIVES THIS PARTICULAR TYPE OF SCUM.

THE CONSTANT OBSESSION TO FIDDLE.

THE OBSESSION TO PUT NUTS INTO ANYTHING THEY CAN FIND.

Look at this wedding cake

IT IS POISON

WHY?

Because one particular dangerous MURDERER decided to put NUTS in the recipe!!!!!

Look at this pie

POISON

WHY?

IT IS A MURDERING NUT PIE!

This little girl is about to DIE

WHY?

Because she is allergic to NUTS.

She has effectively been MURDERED.

Where will it all end?

When man evolved from the primeval slime, nuts were one of the few foods he could eat. We appreciate that. Now however, things are different. We no longer have to scrounge around in bushes for food, we have moved beyond the need to pluck sustenance from the trees; we are highly advanced in both food manufacture & distribution (except for the Communists, we make allowances for primitives).

SO WHY THIS OBSESSION WITH NUTS?

Why take an ordinary, tasty chocolate bar & stick a load of nuts in the middle? Why? Why does every new variety of food introduced seem to have some form of nut in the recipe somewhere?

Not only are certain members of our society allergic to these objects, but there are those of us that simply DO NOT LIKE NUTS.

WE MUST MAKE A STAND

Do you want your coffee full of nuts?

Fortune cookies full of nut juice?

Nut selling people such as this TV presenter are dangerous. They must be brought to justice.

We at F.A.N.A.T.I.C.S. are not afraid to take desperate measures. All we ask you to do is say "NO" to nut-based produce, and be ready when we make our move. You will know when we are ready for you.

SPREAD THE WORD BROTHERS (errr...& sisters of course)