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If we can't have the world, no-one can!
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S.INC GUESTBOOK - 2001
(166) Date: 24/12/01 Name: carol Sex: male (??) Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I can't plant a great big kiss on the faces of those two GORGEOUS cats!!!!! They look SO kissable!!! What a tease you are for putting up pics of them!! So close..but so FAR away! They are ADORABLE!! Doctor Sinister says: Fox and Dana thank you for your interest - even though you can't seem to decide if you are male or female.
(165) Date: 24/12/01 Name: tony benn Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: "Rose can you see this?", sounds like some kind of Al-qaeda terrorist activation code. you never know these days. i blame the flemish of course, those benelux countries are all the same. Doctor Sinister says: Actually, I have heard a rumour that Osama Bin Laden and Saddam Hussein are Flemish secret agents with an ultra-secret agenda to conquer the planet using gigantic tulip-powered windmills churning out endless supplies of clogs. No I don't know how it's supposed to work either.
(164) Date: 21/12/01 Name: Just me again Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I can't think of anything funny to write. Doctor Sinister says: Eh? Who said anything about having to write anything funny? Why isn't anyone taking me seriously? Do I really have to launch an ICBM at some poor starving country to prove to people that I'm not screwing around here?
(163) Date: 20/12/01 Name: crazymark Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Rose!!! Can you see this? Doctor Sinister says: What the hell do you think this is? Your own personal message site? Get lost.
(162) Date: 18/12/01 Name: Aiden Winters Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...my friends tell me not to be so happy all the time but its not because they tell me to, its cos I dont like it. P.S I dont think that eye patch is real, and I'm not a huge cat luvver, and I knew a guy that talked like you once and U know what happened to him... HE DIED!! P.P.S I'm from Ireland u know Doctor Sinister says: So you've taken to insulting my eyepatch and the cats. You really don't have a clue who you're messing with do you? Fox and Dana are most unhappy with you right now. They are all for taking out Ireland in its entirety to be sure of getting you. I think it might be a good time to take a foreign holiday. I'm trying to restrain them from putting their paws on the button, but it's difficult when you've only got one eye and a robotic arm that's badly in need of a service. Don't blame me if you disappear in a cloud of vapour - just don't dis' the cats - OK? As for my eyepatch, it's very unhappy with you as well.
(161) Date: 11/12/01 Name: aiden (still not finding ur picture) Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Are you the duck at the top of the page smashin the computer, (no) I get so angry when... there are so many pages on websites that you can navigate your way through them. (it's really not that difficult you know) You probably get angry when stupid people keep writin stuff (sometimes) and you have to read 'em, do u get paid for it ? (no, I run this place) Youre probably gonna use some special device to stop me coming here, ah well.. your loss Doctor Sinister says: I give up and am not prepared to engage in any further correspondence with you. If you can't find my photo when I've even given you the damned links to it in my reply below, then there is no hope for you. If the journo' bloke from the Times Newspaper was able to find it then anyone should be able to do so. I am beginning to suspect you are an Agent working for the CIA sent to annoy me. In which case - are you the one who also seems to be fiddling around so my ICQ doesn't work as well? And yes, there is a special device for stopping you writing to me - it's called a bullet. Goodbye.
INTERMISSION: A personal rant by Doctor Sinister. 10/12/01 Recently I have been spending some time back in merry old England as a result of the transfer of S.INC (UK) HQ (local branch office) from the South Coast to a secret underground location in North Hampshire. As a result of this, and the unfortunate demise of my Chauffeur in the Piranha pool, I have been doing a lot of driving around and so I want to raise on the page the subject of Fog lights. About a week ago, I had set off from new S.INC (UK) HQ at about 07:00. It was a particularly foggy day and thus I had my fog lights on. As I ventured onto the Motorway, it became apparent that the fog was somewhat patchy in nature - with banks of the stuff drifting across the road. Having overtaken a large HGV in a small non-fog area, I was somewhat perturbed to see him flash his lights at me. I was confused about this for a while, until the thought crossed my mind that perhaps he was doing this to imply to me that my fog lights shouldn't have been on. The joke was on him however when thirty seconds later, we piled into a dense fogbank and his vehicle nearly spun off the road. This (admittedly rather boring) story would have ended there, were it not for incident number 2, which happened to me this morning. Again, I had left S.INC HQ at around 07:00 to deliver some robotic laser-squirrels to a test lab in the New Forest. It was pretty foggy again, albeit patchy. This time, I was pootling along in the inside lane on a clear patch of road when this jerk overtakes me, pulls in front of me and - get this bit - flashes his rear fog lights twice as if to say "you've got your fog lights on mate". HELLO?!?!?!?! IT'S A FOGGY DAY!!!!! OF COURSE I'VE GOT MY F*CKING FOG LIGHTS ON!!!!! WHAT IS IT WITH YOU F*CKING DO-GOODY B*ST*RDS AND MY FOG LIGHTS?!?!?!?! LEAVE ME AND MY DAMNED FOG LIGHTS ALONE FOR F*CK'S SAKE!!!! WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE ON?!?!?! IT'S FOGGY SO I'VE GOT FOG LIGHTS ON!!!! WHAT THE HELL ELSE WOULD I BE DOING WITH THEM ON?!?! I DON'T NEED SOME JUMPED UP LITTLE PRICK TELLING ME I'VE GOT FOG LIGHTS ON - I PUT THE F*CKERS ON SO I KNOW THEY ARE THERE!!!! HOW ARE THEY POSSIBLY HURTING YOU?!?! IF ONE MORE OF YOU GITS TELLS ME THAT I'VE GOT FOG LIGHTS ON WHEN IT'S FOGGY I AM PERSONALLY GOING TO NOTE DOWN YOUR CAR REGISTRATION NUMBER AND SEND SOFT AND MOIST CAT-SH*T TO YOUR F*CKING HOUSES!!!! IF I CAN'T PUT MY FOG LIGHTS ON WHEN IT'S FOGGY THEN WHY THE F*CK ARE THEY THERE - YOU BUNCH OF STUPID, IGNORANT, F*CKED-UP, ARROGANT, IDIOTIC, PATHETIC, BRAIN-DEAD HOLIER-THAN-THOU MORONIC PUSSIES!!!!!!! Thank you for your indulgence.
(160) Date: 09/12/01 Name: mullah mullet Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: george bush is 'a stupid'? surely you can't be serious, shirely? anyhoo i'm getting angry enough to strap on a c4 jacket and rush into the next oscars ceremony on the basis of hollywoods pathetic attempt to change history with their drivel/movies. first (probably) 'saving private ryan' where apparently only the americans landed on beaches and won the war, apparently the 20 million russian dead were just mortally wounded. then 'u-571' where amazing the americans yet again crack the german code and..win the war. now comes 'black hawk down' which apparently deals with the american intervention in somalia where 18 yanks got killed, only they died heroically y'see, for american freedom and all that. i have a feeling they'll leave out the part where the american choppers come back in and slaughter nearly 1000 somalian villagers, one of them had a spear apparently. of course this all depends on whether or not you can distinguish history from a movie, which americans can't. phew. Doctor Sinister says: I so, so, SO agree with you about this. So much so that when we have taken over, you can join my Ministry of Propaganda and make films about how S.INC won the war and how S.INC invented the wheel and how S.INC killed all the Dinosaurs and how it was S.INC that created the Universe. The most amusing part about U-571 is how the Americans captured an Enigma coding machine 6 whole months before they were even in the war. Actually, the whole film was based on a true story - of how the BRITISH captured the Enigma. The Americans did actually capture an Enigma though - in 1945 as the war was drawing to a close. Still, better late than never huh? Thanks for your message.
(159) Date: 07/12/01 Name: Aiden Winters Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: I am stupid.. I openly admit that, so stupid that: I COULDNT FIND UR PICTURE ON THESE STUPID PAGES! It must be exciting for you to get 1 rage message every month, when I was in school I was looking on the internet (not for porn saying as the punishment for being "at it" is death in my school) I was looking for stuff for some educational thing I was doing so I typed my name into google and the second thing that came up was this, coming second only to, well.. something that seemed to be in that stupid language u made up, or else it was in French (I did french for a while, but had to fail on account of IT BEING SO SHIT!..and hard).... OH look u have a list of things at the top of this page, they dont overpackage computer games, packaging is just the right size not to get lost and for stupid people not to swallow, I think the most stupid people are the Welsh cos they speak all funny and force people with husky voices on us like that Kelly boy from Stereophonics and Tom Jones and Kerys Matthews, and theres that word ending in GO-GO-GO. anywhy I'll be going to a different planet from you now, I hear your-anus is nice and warm this time of year. p.s I hate this pathetic excuse for a smiley face( :) ), This ( :o) ) is much better Doctor Sinister says: You couldn't find my picture? Well you didn't look very far - and you obviously haven't read up about the history of S.INC or about my Cats. Try again please. And - one message a month? Can't you read? We've had 3 this month already and it's only the 7th!
(158) Date: 06/12/01 Name: not given Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...car driving poofs get in my way. They are slow clumsy vehicles driven mostly by french loving people. The french make cars. There's a damm good reason not to buy one. Have you
thought of leveling Wales. If you do, can you turn it into a race track?
Please. Doctor Sinister says: Wales is going to be mined out to provide stone for my new imperial Citadel. There won't be anything left to make a race-track, sorry. As for Insurance companies and the Swiss, I'm afraid you are out of luck - a lot of top S.INC operatives (and friends of mine) work for a Swiss Insurance company - but I agree with you about their neutrality. In the coming war, neutrals will be considered the enemy and eliminated. It's a case of either being for us or against us. Let''s face it - even those people for us will have to be purged of any potential rebellion, so anyone against us is really screwed.
(157) Date: 02/12/01 Name: Aiden Winters Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...people say Oh my God, that Helen off Big brother was always at it, but I dont think it was a welsh thing, maybe a Stupid person thing. I also hate it when people try to write the way people talk, there is only one O in the word so, U must be a woman, or a troubled man, like H from steps or that guy from Blue that said that Wildlife bein killed was a more important issue than the world trade Centre thing, which it sorta is, Did u know that more people are killed in America each year by hand guns than were killed in that incident? Focus on these things world leaders... maybe you could make George bush aware of that fact. (He probably says Oh my god a lot, even though hes the kind of stupid that wouldnt believe in God) Doctor Sinister says: You have to be stupid to be "at it"? I don't think so...oh - you mean the "Oh my God" thing? Right, now I get it. I'm a little bit disturbed though that you seem to feel that people who don't believe in God are stupid. That's a very sweeping statement you know - one I would dispute. And furthermore, your implication that people should not write as they speak makes no sense whatsoever. Hello? Has it not occurred to you that if we didn't write "as we speak" written words would make no sense whatsoever? Are you completely STUPID or have you not made the connection between written and verbal communication? I say again - HELLO?!?!? Perhaps you would rather people zxgiahhd jugoibf jhasfbwuuwmknm ijwm i wijwm wijowjoeijnarefehfbki? Eh? I suppose you could understand that could you? Finally - I may be "troubled" but am most certainly not a woman, one only has to glance at my photo on these pages to see that - so you are obviously blind as well as thick. Get off my planet.
(156) Date: 23/11/01 Name: Lev Davidovitch Trotsky Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: Me
again, my apologies to you Dr Sinister. This is a reply to Richard, my Scottish
mate, who had a go at the French. He refers to Scotland as his
"country". Erm...forgive me sunshine, what country are you talking
about? I know the United Kingdom as a country, I know the Republic of Ireland as
a country but how can Scotland claim to be a country since it is only a region
of the United Kingdom? Doctor Sinister says: I laughed out loud so much when I read this one that I got some very funny (and nervous) looks from my Headquarters Staff - well said my friend, well said. Just one small point though - and it has been noted on these pages already, but the Scots ARE Brits, so can hardly kick themselves out of their "own" country (well, they COULD I suppose, it would just be pretty stupid).
(155) Date: 12/11/01 Name: Theo Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: Oh
my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... Doctor Sinister says: Glad you were able to get that off your chest. All this concern of yours for wasted lives - have you been given 6 months to live or something?
(154) Date: 11/11/01 Name: bureaucratic nonce-sense Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: now that agent lynam has banished france to room 101 does this mean world domination is close? will sinc ground troopsor be deployed or are you just going to arm some third world militia to do the work for you. (i suggest the ibiza armed resistance movement, they're cheap) Doctor Sinister says: Hee hee hee, excellent. I was not aware of Agent's Lynam's activities in this regard. What a corker! And - thanks for your suggestion, but I think you have the wrong end of the stick. To imply that world domination is being held up by the existence of the French infers that they have a power they could never hope to achieve. Oh no no no, the only reason we want to wipe them out is because it's a good (and fun!) place to start. They are only "in the way" in the sense that their big noses are stuck into lots of things that don't concern them and that we think England could do with a break from their garlic-swilling neighbours.
(153) Date: 02/11/01 Name: ainsley harriot Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: why not use the many explosions and fireworks during hallowe'en to mask the gunfire and screams eminating from the french embassy. just think of the number of french staff you could kill or even maim, and then kill. then blame it on muslim extremists or just jubilant hippies celebrating the new lax cannabis laws. if you don't do it tony blair will, that guy turned out to be more right wing than bob hoskins. any moment now his eyes are going to glow red and he'll fly of to afghanistan to unleash sheri on the local populace. ...the horror, the horror.... Doctor Sinister says: Such a splendid idea! It's just brilliant - I love it! And I agree with you about Prime Minister Blair - for such a devout Christian, he seems to relish a good war every now and then. But Cherie doesn't need to go in just yet - Mr. Bin Laden's demise will surely come from another quarter. Apparently he's being sued by an American widow for her husband's lost earnings and emotional trauma for the NY attacks. Bloody hell - he must be quaking in his boots already. It's lucky he's a multi-millionaire isn't it?
(152) Date: 30/10/01 Name: Billy and Jason once more Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: We did not mean to come off as if we thought lowly of your abilities,the simple fact is that we have gone to incredibly extensive means to keep our true identities and full capabilities hidden.In regards to the several million volts and lack of apparant weaponry,we are martial artists at heart but have no qualms about putting a bullet into someone's forehead and are skilled marksmen among many other obvious abilities such as stealth maneuvers,security system evasion,several bits of technological information and equipment that if things are going badly,once again we have no qualms about using.Hypno-contacts come to mind as well as a bit of cybernetics that Jason insisted upon for himself. Doctor Sinister says: You again?! Erm, hello? What part of "We regret that it is not possible to engage in lengthy exchanges of correspondence through this facility" don't you understand? Your input is appreciated, but regrettably, this discussion is now closed. I have more important things to do - like the ceremonial opening of our newest manned orbital Spacedock and weapons platform. Got to go, I'm late for my shuttle.
(151) Date: 29/10/01 Name: Billy and Jason again Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: You have never heard of us before because we also function as terrorists you dolt.We stated this in our prior offer,this forces us to periodically change our names or work under assumed names.As for your genetically enhanced guards,they sound nice but not all that difficult to defeat in combat,a few well placed kicks would do well towards knocking them out.Mayhaps you should consider the fact that men of our caliber have trained our senses to the point where we can feel the position of our opponents.The offer to work for your organization does stand for the time being. Doctor Sinister says: Dolt? DOLT?! Sorry, I'm not interested now. You have forgotten the one golden rule of job applications - never insult your prospective boss! As for your implication that I hadn't fully read your previous E-mail - you clearly have a very low opinion of my faculties. It kind of goes without saying that your nefariousness might extend to a bit of terrorism - but seeing as the circles I move in myself are often described as "criminal" - I'm pretty damned certain that I would have heard of your martial art activities down at the club, or at least in my monthly copy of "Supervillain's Gazette" - but no, nothing! There's not a single mention, recommendation or classified advert about brothers who are experts in "shotokan or kyokushin karate" in all my back issues (I've checked - and I've got every single issue too - even the ultra-rare issue 15, unlike that spotty twat Professor Chaos - oh yes, he's so jealous...the git). What's wrong with a good old firearm anyway? Surely you guys would be too busy limbering up before someone put bullets in your heads?! As for kicking my guards - they don't like that much, and you'd probably get several million volts through your leg if you did. I discovered this once to my cost when I tripped over a carelessly dangling tentacle owned by a sleeping guardsman/thing. In addition to minor burns to my leg and the requirement to have my frazzled heart replaced by a super-deluxe robotic model, I had double-vision for a while, which was confusing because I couldn't decide which guard to have executed. In the end, I had them both killed, and then things got even more confusing because no-one knew what I was talking about. After fifty-one needless executions and three arguments with a mirror, someone in the S.INC Hospital finally worked out that my false eye had short-circuited and so I went back to wearing my eye-patch for a while. I'll come back to you though if the entire human race forgets how to make gunpowder, swords, nuclear weapons, grinding machines, robotic sharks or any of the other toys I so enjoy. I suppose I might need your assistance then. But thanks for the offer anyway - even though it came with an insult - it's all appreciated, well, except the "dolt" bit, obviously. People can be so hurtful sometimes. Sniff...
(150) Date: 29/10/01 Name: Pierre Le Gay Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: Hi I'm a garlic-smelling, pet-shagging, arrogant French b**tard (Help! Help! Another one - I am diseased!!) but I must admit I really had a good time on your site. It is absolutely brilliant! Email me if you want to make a French version. Doctor Sinister says: Are you completely INSANE?! Lower myself to using a foreign language? What possible purpose would that serve? Mr. "Le Gay" - I am not in the habit of entertaining French people. I just want to destroy them.
(149) Date: 27/10/01 Name: Billy and Jason Zane Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: We,the Zane brothers are among the world's top body guards and terrorists in the world today and would like to offer our services to you,dr. Sinister.Billy is a master of the martial arts style shotokan karate while Jason is a mastor of kyokushin karate and individually we are stunning in combat but in tandem we are a force to be reckoned with,we are responsible for atleast 340 women not coming forward to admit to having sexual relations with a mr. William Clinton.We are also responsible for what little popultion control there is in france,vacationing there in the spring for "hunting".Yes,we are aware france did not get capitolized,this is because it is unworthy of it. Doctor Sinister says: You say you are amongst the world's top bodyguards - but I'm afraid I've never heard of you. I'm also perfectly happy with my elite squad of genetically engineered mutants. They quite literally have eyes in the backs of their heads - in addition to hidden electrified tentacles for close combat. The tentacles are also handy for charging the batteries on my mobile 'phone when I'm caught short out in the field. My squad of guards is ably led by my old comrade whom we call "Lurch". Alas, "Lurch" only has half a brain left after a nasty accident with a hedge trimmer a few months ago. It wasn't my fault - he shouldn't have fallen asleep on the job and I was determined to teach that damned conifer a lesson it would never forget. But we keep him on anyway - for sentimental reasons mainly, even though his constant dribbling means we have to have a team of cleaners following him around wherever he goes.
(148) Date: 23/10/01 Name: Phil Sex: not given (but male, I assume, with an undoubtedly small penis and even tinier mind) Age: not given (mentally - only 3-years old, bless him) Comment: you know what ? now i'm glad that those muslims did what they did to nyc and i'm also glad they killed english guys too Doctor Sinister says: I will refrain from commenting on this one. But if anyone wants to write to this Sick F**ker, here is his address: Needless to say, he has been reported to his ISP for abuse. I might be a racist genocidal maniac, but there are limits.
(147) Date: 14/10/01 Name: (P)rick Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...dumb a**holes think they run this f**ked up world i swear im going to shoot those a**holes Doctor Sinister says: Next week on "Question Time", we will be interviewing the Greek Philosopher Socrates, and discovering why he wants to chop people into little tiny bits.
(146) Date: 03/10/01 Name: Lev Davidovitch Trotsky Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...when a knowledgeable person like yourself makes assertions without knowing what he is talking about. The French speakers using "seventy" (septante) instead of "sixty-ten" (soixante-dix) are people from Benelux and the East of France, NOT THE FRENCH CANADIANS Doctor Sinister says: To have such inside information on the French plague can only mean one thing. You have to be one of them. Sorry, but you will have to be put to the sword. Thanks for referring to me as "knowledgeable", but it won't spare you. I could make an excuse that such (apparently incorrect) information was put on the site to draw people such as yourself out from the woodwork - but I'm not quite that devious. The truth is that this information was imparted to me by my French teacher Mr. Giles. So blame the British Secondary School System, not me. As an aside - Mr. Giles, when I find you we are going to have to think of something amusing to do with your spine. Because you won't be needing it. Finally - I am going to have to do something about the number of Russians and Communists apparently writing in. It's getting ridiculous.
(145) Date: 28/09/01 Name: Richard Blackley Sex: male Age: not given Comment: Great site mate. I'm just by reading the page about the french being scum HOW TRUE!!!!!!!!! being from scotland I am Dissapointed at my country at making allies with the French.GOD I HATE THEM!!What a gay language.Yes I disslike the english but I dispiese the french.Just thought I Would let you know you have an allie if you decide to Nuke the french. Devil's Minion (Leader of the Scot's Leigons of terror) Doctor Sinister says: It's nice to know that even amongst peoples from other nations, I still have allies. Thank you my friend. You may be called upon when the time comes to remove the French parasites from our lands.
(144) Date: 28/09/01 Name: blinky Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... i hear any french frog speaking in their annoying nasal way and the BBC put repeats, on as if our liscence fee isn't enough that they can't put new stuff on... ...aaaaaaaaaaarrrgggghhhhh. solutions: 1 nuke france 2 nuke the bbc or complain for millions of years to abolish the fee, both will work but one is quicker Doctor Sinister says: Obviously, I prefer the first option, but if the BBC don't start making more "Doctor Who", then something is going to have to be done about them as well.
(143) Date: 27/09/01 Name: rose Sex: female Age: 18 to 21 Comment: how
did you know that my flying a kite off the world trade cente would be the final
step in my paln for world domination? Do you have skys in my corpuration? I
demarnd to know so i can give them a flaying and a bag of salt. Doctor Sinister says: If the spelling on this page does not improve, I will personally get very upset. My dear Rose, how on Earth do you plan on conquering the planet if you can't even spell the word "plan"? Is it any wonder I picked up three of your agents last week - they were wandering around trying to decipher your writing. In case you were wondering what I did with them - I fed two of them into the shark pool and the third is now a rather nice looking coffee table in the security lobby.
(142) Date: 19/09/01 Name: Who cares? I do - that's why I ask - you know why it's on the bloody form!?!? Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: A
drop of optimism in the depths of Europhobia: Doctor Sinister says: Not really. English is a Germanic language. Erm - what exactly was your point anyway?
(141) Date: 16/09/01 Name: fidel castro's gynacologist Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo prophetic when...i say don't say i didn't tell you so. which might be gibberish unless you read my last message. Doctor Sinister says: I see your spelling hasn't improved. Are you seriously trying to suggest that a part of this supposed plan to wage a war to stave off economic recession involves blowing up the WTC and thus completely upsetting the economic stability of Banks and Insurance Companies - the very companies who are so vital in stopping said recession in the first place? Interesting...but I'm afraid you'll never make an economist my friend.
(140) Date: 07/09/01 Name: riki rocky Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: Hi Doctor Sinister, Would you please bash Jap? regards. Doctor Sinister says: I say again - WHY?
(139) Date: 06/09/01 Name: rasputin's live-in masseuse Sex: male Age: 30 to 40 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo SUSPICOUS when...people write in using the name stuart smith, what kind of flimsy disguise is that supposed to be. he's hiding something i can tell his poor use of grammer and things, as well. i'm not saying he's french and i'm not saying he's not french but he's french. Doctor Sinister says: Hmmm, nice theory. But how do I know you aren't just trying to deflect attention from yourself - Mr Made-up name? I suppose Rasputin was Anglo-Saxon was he? Still - I admit it's a security risk. But you needn't fear, I won't allow any truly pro-French propaganda onto the site - not without a witty riposte anyway.
(138) Date: 06/09/01 Name: riki rocky Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: I enjoyed reading "WHY THE FRENCH ARE SCUM". so.... Why don't you bash Japan next? I'm really expecting that. Would you, please? Doctor Sinister says: Why? I love the Japanese. Nintendo, Sony, erm...
(137) Date: 28/08/01 Name: The Exxxpletive Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Damn foreigners come to this country and ask for handouts and s**t. F**k that. got to (link to non-existent page) Doctor Sinister says: I see the intellectuals are back in force!
(136) Date: 23/08/01 Name: Stuart Smith Sex: male Age: not given Comment: your site is superb told all my mates about it Doctor Sinister says: Excellent - the more converts to our cause, the better. You have done well. I see the hypno-ray success rate on the index page is improving.
(135) Date: 17/08/01 Name: fidel castro's gynacologist Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...amerika perpetually instigates wars just to avoid every economic recession. At least if you're going to blow up a little country do it for a good reason, like for a laugh or just mindless bloodshed sponsored by pepsi. you could get that fat bird from emmerdale farm to host a live show called 'war's most funniest moments caught on bullet cam' and then pack her into a sherman tank and get members of the public to fire exocets at her...and the tank of course. Doctor Sinister says: You b*st*rd! You've been reading my secret diary haven't you?!?! Only one problem - fat bird from Emmerdale would NEVER fit into a battletank of any kind - although you could fill her arse with helium and use her as a blimp without much effort at all.
(134) Date: 16/08/01 Name: Cornelius Vanderbilt Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: The Earth is primarily populated with people who don't think about anything more advanced than the latest video on MTV. They should all be shot. Doctor Sinister says: Shooting is too good for them - ejected into the sun is more like it.
(133) Date: 11/08/01 Name: Nadav Mor Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: hello doctor, i would like to share a little poem i have written regarding the fine nation of pillow-biting french. i wasn't sure where to send it while being sure it would reach the right hands. well, here is my poem: Being a French, by the inglish-profesor: alas, myself, i was born as a french best of regards, p.s. it's been quit a while since france was conquered, don't you think? Doctor Sinister says: Very nice. I take issue with the strong country bit though. Dunno where you got that from.
(132) Date: 11/08/01 Name: Vally Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: The French smell I emplore u to eradicate them and why do some of our small villages have to be "twinned" with some sh*t villa in France. Doctor Sinister says: Hey - here's an idea, once Paris has been destroyed, anyone living in one such "twinned" town will have the option of assisting in the torching and utter destruction of their settlement's French counterpart - yes?
(131) Date: 07/08/01 Name: William the Conqueror Jr Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: Hi from Granville, Normandy. Please give us back the Channel Islands. Im being serious...or we invade England again. Doctor Sinister says: You must be out of your tiny mind. One fart from a seagull and your troops would surrender quicker than you could say "D-Day". Which reminds me - the British deserve to keep the Channel Islands - call it recompense for saving your miserable hides from the Krauts.
(130) Date: 06/08/01 Name: Werewolf Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...those stupid euro b*st*rds make us sell fruit and veg in kilograms, and then every freakin' person that come through the shop door asks me to convert to pounds! Do you arses from Brussels know how hard it is to mentally divide anything by 2.2? No? Then hang your heads in shame. Then resign. Or commit mass suicide. Either way is good. Doctor Sinister says: Does anyone else suspect a Brussels conspiracy to increase the sales of calculators? Someone get me the CEO of Casio Electronics - NOW.
(129) Date: 03/08/01 Name: meow Sex: female Age: 18 to 21 Comment: you are very sexy. d'you want my phone number? address? nuclear silo? bibble bibble bibble Doctor Sinister says: Do you mind? I'm getting married tomorrow!
(128) Date: 02/08/01 Name: Dr McAlister PhD Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Well I think that lawyers have long relied on ordinary telephones to communicate with clients and are increasingly using cellular telephones and electronic mail.{46} Every lawyer knows that she should never discuss client confidences in a crowded restaurant. If such a confidence is overheard by A third party, even unintentionally, waiver of the attorney-client privilege may be imputed.{47} Anyone with the right sort of receiver can overhear cellular telephone conversations. Unfortunately, the ease with which electronic mail messages can be intercepted by third parties means that communicating by public electronic mail systems, like the Internet, is becoming almost as insecure as talking in A crowded restaurant.{48} Similarly, the ease with which intruders can gain access to unprotected computers that can be accessed via the Internet means thatunencrypted data on such machines is at risk.{49} Even ordinary telephone con[Page 725]versations may be at risk if the signal travels by microwave or satellite.{50} Although there are no cases to date holding that failure to encrypt a cellular telephone conversation or an electronic mail message, much less A regular phone call, constitutes professional negligence, the ease with which these can be overheard or intercepted, combined with the growing simplicity of encryption software, make it conceivable that failure to use encryption may be considered a waiver of privilege at some point in the future (at least for insecure media such as electronic mail and cellular telephones).{51} Lawyers are not the only professionals who receive client confidences. Doctors, therapists, and accountants all receive sensitive information which they then have a duty to keep confidential. These duties can arise in tort or contract, or pursuant to state and federal statutes.{52} Some of these duties are reflected in evi Doctor Sinister says: Sir - I think, without a doubt, you win the prize for the "Weirdest, But Most Informative" E-mail I have ever had. Congratulations - a bottle of Champagne is on its way to you in the post. We have decided, however, to combine this with a new testing of our Time Machine - if all goes well, you should receive your prize in 1977.
(127) Date: 01/08/01 Name: Thierry Henry Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: Hey
listen you Red Neck: when your country stops hiring French footballers and
coaches because they are the best in the world to save ENGLISH FOOTBALL WHICH IS
LESS THAN CRAP, when English banks in the City stops recruiting multi-lingual
French graduates because local labour IS UNEDUCATED AND IGNORANT OF FOREIGN
LANGUAGES, when restaurants in England stop engaging French Chefs to try and
make taste-free English cooking look better, then YES, you will be able to joke
on the French. Don't have a go at the French, Britain needs them. Oh, by the
way, I find your site pathetic. Doctor Sinister says: Firstly, I'm not a redneck, but I do have a healthy tan. As for Football - I have no interest whatsoever. ALL players/coaches are overpaid, uneducated, immature morons whichever country they come from - so if a bunch of morons in one country want to hire morons from another country, who gives a stuff? Not me - I don't speak moron anyway. Oh, and by the way, I thought Sven Goran Ericsson was Swedish, not French? Turning to city banks - you are out of touch my friend - the British have no NEED to speak other languages. A British friend of mine works for a Swiss Financial Services company in their UK Head Office - hey, guess what? Their corporate standard international language is ENGLISH. If a (for example) French office of that particular firm writes to a counterpart British office in French - the British office writes back and demands the letter in ENGLISH as per the corporate requirements. And the Swiss Head Office will take action against the French office if this isn't complied with. Oh, and what do we have here? Another friend works for a German Bank. IN GERMANY. And guess what THEIR corporate standard language is - yep, you got it - it's ENGLISH. Well f*ck me sideways - that's a bit of a coincidence don't you think? Could it be because no b*st*rd UNDERSTANDS French - an outdated, overcomplicated, unevolving, stagnant and dying language which insists that inanimate objects be given male or female gender? I mean honestly, what a bunch of pansies. Or could it be because all their computer software is also written in ENGLISH? If local labour in Britain is uneducated - how come a recent survey revealed that white collar workers in the UK are paid an average of 15% more per year than their French counterparts - and are highly valued in territories such as the USA and Japan? British workers work longer hours than their lazy French counterparts - that's a fact too. You can look it up if you like. French Chefs are overpaid jerks - as I have said before - Eat to live, DO NOT live to eat. Jesus Christ, it's no wonder the French lost every war they ever fought, they were too busy buttering their fifth round of croissants. Fact - garden parasites are NOT food. DO NOT start lecturing to me about how "wonderful" the French are - we all know it's bullsh*t. How can you HONESTLY have any pride in a country that lays down its arms to an (at the time) INFERIOR and VASTLY OUTNUMBERED enemy force at the first opportunity? Do your people ENJOY spilling the blood of other nationals to liberate your homeland? I guess you must do - it saves the effort of having your own young men die doesn't it? And - I can picture the planners of the Maginot Line even now: "Hey, let's build this big impenetrable wall of guns and armour to hide behind in case Germany ever invades us again." "But Monsieur - the plans for the wall stop at the Belgian border - what if the Germans bypass the wall and swing through the low countries to invade our own country?" "Relax my garlic-smelling friend - It'll never happen - it's not as if they've done exactly that same thing twice before now - is it?" Yes, in this case, Military Intelligence really was an oxymoron (you can look that up too). But I do agree with you on one point - Britain does need France - as a warning of what the British will become if they allow Brussels bureaucracy to swallow their freedom and national pride. And - you find my site pathetic? Well that's fair enough - but you are clearly in the minority as I think you can see from this Guestbook. Obviously you didn't find the site pathetic enough that you felt you could safely ignore it - but you just simply HAD to write in. Yeah - you're really safe in your convictions aren't you? Oh and - constructive criticism - what's that then? Or did you just deliberately decide not to bother and just stuck with the one word for me to pick the bones from?
(126) Date: 01/08/01 Name: not given Sex: male Age: Under 15 Comment: From an angry French Canadian: SMASH ANGLO SAXON IMPERIALISM!!!! AAAAHHHH!!! Your country has starved the Irish, eradicated the Arboriginals, abused the Indians, slaughtered the Cajuns, persecuted Catholics, annihilated the Maoris!!! Now your Queen is spending all her time making excuses to all these people (remainder of this note censored as it was written in French) Doctor Sinister says: Right - and the French have NEVER done anything bad have they? If you are "proud" of your French heritage - then it's time you learnt a few home-truths. Because - oh no, your people NEVER exterminated thousands of people in Indochina during bloody oppression in a desperate attempt to maintain control DID YOU? You NEVER invaded The Netherlands, Prussia, Austria, Russia, Egypt, the Crimea, Italy, Mexico, half of Africa and parts of North America in your efforts to found an Empire that would rival that of Britain - DID YOU? You NEVER fought Spain, the USA or Portugal to prevent the dismantling of your trade routes or your colonial possessions to become a world superpower - DID YOU? You NEVER traded slaves from Africa or punished those nations who opposed your will by executing innocent people - DID YOU? You NEVER intended to invade India (those very people you say the British "abused") to deprive Britain of one of it's colonies and rule in its stead - DID YOU? You NEVER exterminated your aristocracy on the basis of their "Imperialist" ambitions - only to continue French foreign policy unabated and pursue those same ambitions regardless - DID YOU? Your people NEVER collaborated with the Nazis in the mass-extermination of the Jews and oppression of their own people - DID THEY? You NEVER detonated nuclear devices on far-flung islands in your "Empire" against ALL world opinion just to prove a point - DID YOU? You would NEVER be in the habit of sending your Secret Service Agents to sink UNARMED and PEACEFUL ships in FOREIGN ports against all international law because of certain political opinions held by the crew of said ship - WOULD YOU? The rulers of the British Empire at least had the common courtesy to EDUCATE their colonial citizens to the extent that self-rule became inevitable. Can you say the same of the French? No - many old French colonies remain under heel - ruled by fear and force. If British colonialism is so hated, reviled and despised - then how come Britain maintains good links with its former colonies in the form of the Commonwealth? Anglo-Saxon Imperialism? What about French Imperialism which is still alive and kicking today? Or did you never wonder WHY Canada remains split between French and English speaking peoples - did you think that perhaps some families just decided to "up-stumps" and move house there one day? How naive can you be? Did you never consider the bloody battles that were fought FOR YOUR VERY HOME by French Imperialists who were every bit as vehement and determined as the British. I wouldn't be proud of your ancestry - I would be disgusted. If you disown Imperialism - then you disown your own history - and you disown yourself.
(125) Date: 28/07/01 Name: Doctor Gonzo Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: Is that you in the Honey Monster ads? Doctor Sinister says: No, it's a terrible pastiche - I wouldn't be seen dead in grey.
(124) Date: 27/07/01 Name: not given Sex: male Age: Under 15 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...people set up web sites like this one but never really do n e thing significant ,power to the people Doctor Sinister says: Hmmm - haven't quite grasped the concept have you? Power to ME - NOT the people, they don't deserve it.
(123) Date: 27/07/01 Name: darwin's chiropodist, colin Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo BEMUSED when...reading the deranged ramblings of nezzer trying to cope with making sense in english. BUT! allow me to retort to your reply 1> Britain IS an 'island for apes' how else do you explain ainsley harriot and the entire welsh womens hockey team. 2>England is practically a colony of america today, with Walmart owning most of mainland britain and the first born child of tony blair. 3>meh! 4>Humans didn't descend from apes as any joe soap with a degree in biochemical evolutionary theory will tell you. apes went their way and we went ours but if you went with the apes thats not our fault and please don't soil our carpets and eat all our banana's. 5>regardless the french are miscreant sewage effluent directly descended from space faeces which hitched a ride on a meteor and landed on earth, how else can u explain their gibberish language and poor standard of hygenie? eh? Doctor Sinister says: I wasn't aware that Walmart owned "most of mainland Britain". I'm sure the National Trust and the MOD would pick you up on that one - however I can well believe that they own Tony Blair's first born - but having said that, he's drunk enough booze to make me wonder if he isn't one of our "friends" from across the Channel? I'm not a student in biochemical evolutionary theory, but I am working on a time machine - so maybe one day we'll know the truth about all this ape malarkey. Maybe I'll even invite you along for the ride. Liked the comment about space poo. Nice one.
(122) Date: 22/07/01 Name: not given Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: dude, you got it wrong. you know what bothers me? people always expect the person to take over the world to be MALE. hello? anybody out there heard of a dominant female? Yeah, well, I have plans for this planet...... Doctor Sinister says: I don't have a problem with this concept per se, but it's not going to happen whilst I'm around. However, I cannot think of ANYTHING more terrifying than a woman being in control of the planet - all it would require is one bout of PMT and her waking up in a bad mood, and next thing you know, half the planet would be nuked just because she couldn't get the toaster to work. Scary thought. Anyone remember Margaret Thatcher and the General Belgrano? Don't muck with female leaders...
(121) Date: 21/07/01 Name: nesher Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo HAPPY when... i can see on a map this island for apes... ENGLAND... :))) the americains, Irish, the Scottish, and of many countries then do not like you, before joking on French, you would do better you look in a mirror, and to think, if any time you can still do it . England is nothing any more but one colony of the USA in Europe damage than make you parties of Europe of them. after us to have invented the insane cow, and the foot-and-mouth disease, which will you make us? sorry for these comments which are not very pleasant, but sought it well to you, to write things which are stupids. Doctor Sinister says: I really hate to be picky here, but I'm going to be anyway as your note is probably the most nonsensical I have ever read. 1) You refer to England as an "island for apes". Yet you also lump the Scottish in amongst those who hate the English. Has it escaped your attention that Scotland is directly attached to England and is thus ON THE SAME ISLAND? I'm sure you didn't really mean to offend your friends the Scots - but you have done. Well done, I'm sure they'll have something to say about that. 2) You are obviously not a student of history - the area of the globe currently occupied by the continental USA was originally a British colony. Or has it escaped your attention that they speak ENGLISH? How then can you say that England is a US colony. Hello? 3) You appear to want to denigrate England - however your note implies that you are happy to see it there. Are you schizophrenic? 4) Has it also escaped your notice that we are ALL descended from Apes? Furthermore - you advise that Americans hate the English. Well that may well, be the case, I'm not going to speak for them as I'm not an American - but as I stated above, the United States evolved from a British (not English) colony - thus you are also calling Americans apes as well. Congratulations - you have offended them too. What the bloody hell do phrases such as "damage than make you parties of Europe of them" and "but sought it well to you, to write things which are stupids." mean? Are you dyslexic? Presumably so - as you also cannot spell "Americans". It's interesting that you seem to think England "invented" Foot and Mouth Disease - when it's a virus that's been around for millennia. Bugger me, the English must be cleverer than they thought. Thanks! You call me stupid - when your grasp of basic language skills is clearly non-existent and your logic equally flawed. Go away.
(120) Date: 21/07/01 Name: Smilin' Joe Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: Dr. Sinister; I certainly will join your crusade against the French. Anyone who eats snails and squid and then has the gall to make fun of us is "on my list," so to speak. Unfortunately, and by an astonishing coincidence, my entire fleet of high-capacity cargo aricraft have all suffered from spontaneous transmission failure, and are therefore all in the shop. I am told I can have them back "very soon," whatever that means. If you'll hold my pyramids, I'll be glad to pick them up when my planes come back. Doctor Sinister says: Yeah, it's a bummer when that happens.
(119) Date: 20/07/01 Name: Smilin' Joe Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: Pyramids. You mentioned at one point that you had some big stone things on your secret island base you wanted to get rid of. Can I have a few? Also: The British lost the Revolutionary War to the United States. I don't hold it against you, since we kind of went balls-up during the Korean and Vietnam wars. Besides, I like British comedy. Regards, Smilin' Joe A Super-Hero For Our Modern Times Doctor
Sinister says: Sir, I have reserved two pyramids for you - unfortunately due to high demand, we
had to place a limit on the number we could supply to any one person. Some people are so greedy you know...
(118) Date: 16/07/01 Name: s l Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: Jesus Christ. why the f**kin hell are you a nazi?!dont you "hitlers little helpers"get that wwll is over?!you dipsh*ts want to take over the world?!try it with nonracial acts,dumbass...i was gonna join,until you said you were a f**kin nazi!congrats,you just lost someone helpful...maybe if you change your ways il join,so will alot of other ppl!!! Doctor Sinister says: I'm not a Nazi - I've got my own faction to lead, thank you very much. Presumably you have failed to appreciate the tongue-in-cheek nature of our "controversial Nazi pages". Hello? Can you understand the word JOKE? Come on - please tell me that you aren't as stupid as your E-mail would imply. If you are - then I don't want you joining S.INC anyway - I've got no time for dullards.
(117) Date: 16/07/01 Name: not given Sex: male Age: Under 15 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... Stupid f**king people think they know something when they don't know SH*T!!!!!!! MUTHERF**KERS!I HATE THOSE F**KING PUKEHEADS F**KS!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I WANT TO F**KING KILL THEM...whew Doctor Sinister says: A fine and considered argument - worthy of the Great Bard himself. However, I think you need Anger Therapy to resolve some clear issues that you are having problems with - either that or a kick in the head or something.
(116) Date: 12/07/01 Name: Ninja Monkey Leader Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Earlier this week, when there was nothing good on TV, i decided rather new evil empire, the ninja monkeys, would invade Cheqeslovakia, because its one of the few countries i cant spell. I had read your methods of winning wars, and decided the umbrella method would be the best for my army, but how do i convince an intire army of monkeys to use umbrellas while marching? I used my mind altering neuron ray of course, and thinking it was always sunny in Cheqeslovakia (really need to learn how to spell that) i would make my monkeys think they needed umbrellas when its sunny and not raining. So on to battle we went, ending up in France at first as we had no clue where that god awfully spelt country was, killing a measly few million french frogs as we asked directions. As we neared the front line of Cheqeslovakia, storm clouds gathered, and it began to pour with rain, i believe this may have been Gods revenge for that time i pissed on the alter at church. And my monkeys, being the intelligent bastards they are, put their umbrellas away. The enemy satellite spotted us, we were fired on, the monkeys scattered, we ended up in Sweeden getting stoned and wasted, thats all i can remember, so the damn badly spelt country remains, my monkeys all have hangovers, i have a sore ass hole for some reason, this is my warning to all other evil dictators, DO NOT use the mind altering neuron beam to make your troops use umbrellas when its sunny, i hope this information will turn the tides of many world wars to come, if not ive still got a life times supply of weed from a Sweedish prostitute named Fred, thanks for listening and goodnight... oh wait, i think i need a query for this dont i? hmmm..... why do hotdogs come in packs of 8, yet hotdog buns come in packs of 12??? Doctor Sinister says: Firstly - how can you be a Ninja Monkey Leader if you are male? EVERYONE knows that only neutered females are allowed to lead clans of Ninja monkeys - yes sir, you are a FRAUD. Secondly - it's Czechoslovakia. And thirdly, there is a very simple (and quite obvious) reason why hotdogs come in packs of 8 but hotdog buns only come in packs of 12 - the Supermarkets are all evil money-grabbing b*st*rds. Hope that's cleared that one up for you.
(115) Date: 06/07/01 Name: Mrs Hitler Sex: female Age: Old as the hills Comment: It IS nice to see the old ways kept up. My boy Adolf would be so happy to know that insanity and meglomaina didnt die out with him. sigh Doctor Sinister says: If you are purporting to be Adolf Hitler's mother - then it is probably time you realised that you have been dead for nearly a century. Do you find that people complain of an odd smell whenever you are near?
(114) Date: 06/07/01 Name: Greg McFukkit Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Oh
my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... Foreigners who speak French come over to our
country and complain all the time. They think their so bloody clever to be part
of Europe. Well get this Frenchies. God only made France as a place to hide all
the scummy french f**s! F**k off pack to paris you moustached sheep
bandits with p**s-poor hygiene! Doctor Sinister says: Well said my friend - you will be the recipient of an honorary Knighthood for your services to humanity.
(113) Date: 29/06/01 Name: Doctor Gonzo Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: Dr Sinister (if that is your real name!) I have found the weakness and depravity that will be your undoing, your downfall, your humilliation and your Waterloo. You use a MAC computer! You deviant! You must resign and appoint me your leader- you will be humanely tortured and taunted by the French before being put to death by Garlic-Please don't make me explain how it is too sick for words. Dr Gonzo. Doctor Sinister says: Dear Sir, I have never used a MAC nor would I ever do so. I have no idea where you get this (false) information from.
(112) Date: 18/06/01 Name: Vladimir Ulyanov jones the third Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY while...reading the demented rantings of morgan la fay, shouldn't there be legislation to prevent these people from social interaction. they just encourage people to become global dictators, THERE can be too much of a good thing y'know. i propose the immediate colonic irrigation of morgan la fay followed by nuclear strikes on the isle of man. Doctor Sinister says: I have other long-standing plans for the Isle of Man I'm afraid - but as I write this I'm in a very bad mood indeed because NOTHING is going right for me at the moment - so I won't pretend the idea isn't tempting. I'm so depressed I feel like taking the planet with me...brace yourselves.
(111) Date: 12/06/01 Name: Morgan La Fay Sex: female Age: Old as the hills Comment: I
really mean it. And how dare you yawn. It took me AGES to wtite that threat.
megolomaniacs these days. no respect Doctor Sinister says: Dum de dum de dum. You obviously think that being threatened is a new and exciting experience for me - well it's not. I've been threatened by experts - Russians, Chinese, BBC Executives, the works - I know no fear.
(110) Date: 08/06/01 Name: Morgan La Fay Sex: female Age: Old as the hills Comment: Dear SINC, i have weapons and sheep and at this very moment i am watching you. i will soon have taken over your pathetic little society. You have no hope, you will get no reprive. i will have mercy upon you though. after i have taken over and i am seated in in your swively chair of power I will allow you a choice, you may live very slowly at the hands of my torturers (who will do amusing and painful things with a toothpick and a packet of sherbert) or you may become a ticket collector on the Eiffel Tower. I already have the leaders of the world at my mercy. I control everything. put simply , You're doomed. DOOMED I TELL YOU DOOMED HA! HA! HA! HA! Yours >insert amusing and appropriate word<, Morgan La Fay Doctor Sinister says: Yawn.
(109) Date: 05/06/01 Name: Iknowwhatyoudidlastsummer Sex: Male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Hello Andrew John Summersgill, nice site you have here Doctor Sinister says: Nice try - but Andrew only types what I tell him to. Rumours that he and I are the same person are completely inaccurate. We only register the site in his name for tax reasons.
(108) Date: 05/06/01 Name: The Vixen Sex: female Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Dr.Sinister, I must congratulate your good self on your masterful sharpeness of wit and keen intelect that you display whilst ripping to pieces all those lilly-livered foreigners who try to pretend they are our equals - bravo sir, and rule Britania. Before conquering the world have you ever considered a career in stand-up comedy, or maybe even minister for Europe? Doctor Sinister says: It's funny you should say that madam, because indeed, before I became Doctor Sinister (when I was merely MR. Sinister), the two things I most wanted to be were either an author or a stand-up comic. Alas, there's no money in joke-telling and things changed for me (and the world) on the fateful day that I nearly got run over by a laughing French maniac in a stolen taxi, and lost my arm. True, I only lost the arm because it was handcuffed to a briefcase stuffed full of forged French Francs and it got caught in the rear bumper - but that's beside the point (a previous effort to embezzle 500,000,000 Francs from the bank accounts of SNCF was foiled when I forgot my PIN number). Some people say that losing my arm was poetic justice, but I thought it quite patriotic at the time that I had chosen to defraud the French and not my own. Ho-hum. Anyway, after the taxi incident, my heart simply wasn't into being a comedian any more and I decided to devote my efforts to the destruction of that foul country. I soon gained my Doctorate and began recruiting - the rest is history.
(107) Date: 31/05/01 Name: Rev Dr Keith Martin Sex: male Age: not given Comment: Dear Dr Sinister, We may be a cheap (or efficient as we like to call it) and very very very nasty organisation but we mean business. We accept the Hawaiin Islands but instead of the White House we want a bungalow in Wales. Preferably one you havent ground up and urinated on. The 20 Mega Fart bomb or "Mahatma Project" is proceeding according to schedule although my mother's parrot has died and the dog has lost its sense of smell. Next week I am testing it on a dessert Island (just like the French) unfortunately it wont be desserted as it is the Island that "Survivor" is filmed on----------lets see them survive that! I have also begun a genetically mutated superman project inadvertantly when I found that the mircowave works even when the door is open. HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Doctor Sinister says: Sir, Firstly, what's a "dessert" island and does it come covered in icing? Re' your Microwave project - it won't work, we've tried it before when we cranked up our satellite uplink Microwave transmitter on the coast of S.INC Island, and inadvertently fried three thousand sheep. Mind you, we had one hell of a beach party that night, I don't mind telling you. If you want a Welsh bungalow - that's not a problem. I doubt that anything taller would survive the bombing anyway.
(106) Date: 30/05/01 Name: Rev Dr Keith Martin Sex: male Age: not given Comment: Dear Dr Sinister, I too have always harbord plans for dominating the world. What makes you think that other organisations like mine "The Westport Ministry" are not way ahead of you. Granted we have no nuclear submarines, our "DeathStar" project blew up in my back garden yesterday, and my robotic killer trees seem to be rooted to the ground but my organisation is making great progress in our chemical dept. where we are working on a methane bomb which can be launched onto Paris or Berlin(don't forget the germans) with a 20 Mega Fart capacity which would eliminate all life for 2 miles, and leave the whole country deaf. Surely there is a way we could co-operate. My organisation only wants the Hawaiin Islands and the White House in returm. Yours sincerely Rev Dr Keith Martin (I outrank you with my ordination and Dr of Divinity) Please check out my qualifications at http://browse.to/keithmartin PS I am curious how does one sign the guestbook? Doctor
Sinister says: Thank you for your valued input.
(105) Date: 15/05/01 Name: STALIN (oh dear, not again...) Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God i'm not dead....it was a wild rumour spread by that lice infested gypsey rasputin, who is also alive and well and living in las vegas cleverly disguised as whoppi goldberg. As for the army of tractors...you obviously have no comprehsion of the utter confusion a convoy of brightly coloured Zetor tractors can have on enemy forces. Confusion is the mother of revolution according to microsoft anyway. capitalist infedils. Doctor Sinister says: I have dispatched agents to pick up a couple of examples of these tractors so we can evaluate them in an assault capacity - but I don't hold out much hope.
(104) Date: 15/05/01 Name: dark avenger Sex: male Age: Under 15 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...i see these crappy bands wich record companys have just thought up to make money wiv no skill what-so-ever and just stand there with there tops of and have woman in scandely clad clothes around them(not that i mind that) but the music is aplosute shite and is giving good bands a bad name - DOWN WITH SHITE MUZIC!!!! Doctor Sinister says: I can see that this is a major issue for you - but to be perfectly frank, whilst I'm prepared to issue the occasional death warrant for bands like "Steps" or "Spliff Club 7" - I've got bigger fish to fry. Please can people stop writing to me about crap pop bands now - it's getting boring.
(103) Date: 14/05/01 Name: rosaleen Sex: female Age: 15 to 18 Comment: take me off your List Of Death i meant no disrespect. just a little entusiasim. so there. can i have my orange suit back now(im getting kinda cold) Are westlife on your list of death as well? because they are badly in need of a bombing. hail and all that bloodedrose Doctor Sinister says: Hmmm, in view of your continued support, what with this being your fifth posting and all that - I don't suppose I could bring myself to kill you - although the vision of you having nothing to wear without a S.INC uniform is strangely alluring (just don't tell the future Mrs Sinister - ahem). Anyway - it's in the post. Afraid I cannot put Westlife on the list (but I don't suppose there's anything to stop them having a little "accident") or the aforesaid future Mrs Sinister would have my guts for garters - only a few months ago I made a disparaging comment about Boyzone and she poisoned the sharks. Mind you - I got my own back - I made sure Ronan wouldn't be reforming the band in too much of a hurry by telling him Stephen Gateley was gay - although he reckoned he already knew - yeah, right...
(102) Date: 13/05/01 Name: rosaleen Sex: female Age: 15 to 18 Comment: hmmm... a bullet proof chair a good idea. but that only works it you are turn around. what about whan you face the door? anyway i found this website with rules for Evil Overlord and i thought you might be interested. I know it furthered MY career. http://minievil.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html And thanks for China, do I get Tibet as well. Can I have all the Third world countrys as well. When someone want to rule the world they only ever want the nice countrys. They never concider Africa or the annoying parts of Aisa (india and ummm.... india) and what are your plans for Ireland? I live here so if you want to blow it up Id like the oppourtunity to move. yours and all that Bloodedrose P.s. My cat will be with you soon. He very excited at the thought of working with such a high profile Meglomanic. He even got a new spiky collor Doctor Sinister says: I'm sorry - but I'm not prepared to reveal any more details about my bulletproof chair - this information is highly classified - and in fact just by asking, you are in danger of placing yourself on my List of Death. With regards to your request for more countries - you appear to be under the mistaken impression that this is some kind of "lucky dip" and that just by asking, you get a prize. Not so I'm afraid young lady - you'll have what you're given and be grateful. As for your web link - interesting, I note that the author has come to a lot of conclusions that we ourselves reached when we wrote our "How to be a bad guy" page. It's nice to see that there are other Supervillains willing to share their information as well. Amongst other things, it alerts us to their presence and allows us to eliminate them...
(101) Date: 12/05/01 Name: stalin Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: u forgot to mention a pop band manufacturing plant in your armoury. How else are you going to subdue the pre-pubesent population of the Earth. oh yeah...guns! Doctor Sinister says: What - Stalin? You AGAIN? Bugger off you dead git - I'm quite capable of thinking up my own plans for world domination thank you very much - I don't need a dead Commie with a stupid moustache interfering - the only thing you were ever worried about was how many Tractors you could get your slaves to churn out in a year. Like - wow, what a great plan to take over the world - plough it to death.
(100) Date: 12/05/01 Name: rs Sex: female Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... the french blame the irish for giving their stupid flea bitten country foot and mouth the *sshloe they gave it the their ugly sheep them selvevs so there Doctor Sinister says: I'm afraid you are completely wrong - in France, the virus was released by an undercover S.INC agent pretending to be a British farmer - ostensibly in retaliation for the mass burning of truckloads of live British Sheep in Frogland some years ago. We were hoping for a small little war - but it didn't happen. But we still have the satisfaction of sticking it to those French gits one more time.
(99) Date: 11/05/01 Name: Steve Boy Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...untalented, ugly, jumped up little pillocks get plastered all over my t.v. screen and croon on about total irrelevencies. What am I on about?? Boy/Girl bands. Bag of shite. Manufactured or not, they still persist to look, dance, talk and sing bollocks and get paid exhorbetent amount for the pleasure. There is a lot of 'real' music out there by 'real' bands that needs a lot more appreciation. Oh yeah, and while we're doing that, we can string all the sh*te bands up by their sensitive bits. Doctor Sinister says: On S.INC Island - the members of "Hearsay" have been branded public enemies and our security forces have orders to shoot on sight - with extreme prejudice.
(98) Date: 11/05/01 Name: not given Sex: male Age: under 15 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... people who are too politically correct. they suck a big one. why can't they just suck it up and take it up the ass like the rest of us have to. They're stupid pussy pr*cks. (you know why they are that way?, because daddy didn't hug them enough(stupid pussy pr*cks)) Doctor Sinister says: A pretty argument - if a trifling rambling in style - and I tend to agree with your hatred of all things "PC" - however your strange obsession with "p*ssy pricks", whatever the hell they are (some kind of cross-gender mutation?) is somewhat worrying - you should get out more.
(97) Date: 09/05/01 Name: Liam McDermott Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: BWAAHAHAHA. Just thought I'd let you know that your site is fantastic. I am forced to put up with a French bint where I live - stinking garlic scoffing whore, any chance of an assassination? Keep up with the good work. Cheers. Liam. Doctor Sinister says: Thanks for your note. You will be spared when it is necessary to begin the Great Purge. Sbastien, Garamante, Bernadette and Adrien - are you reading this? I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO HATES YOU - IT'S A GLOBAL THING!!!
(96) Date: 08/05/01 Name: lee dixon Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... people tell me that this web site is cr*p its brill i recomend u to my f*cking friends but they say its sh*t any i love your site Doctor Sinister says: Cheers buddy.
(95) Date: 06/05/01 Name: adrien.silvestre Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: from a french guy. f*ck you and your sick anti french humour you american moron (if you didn't write "why the french are scum or publish the french joke please transmit (What the hell is this supposed to mean? Of course I wrote the damned thing - erm, hello? THAT'S WHY MY ADDRESS IS ON THE WEBSITE - YOU KNOW, THE ADDRESS YOU WROTE TO? Idiot.) I have a funny american joke a french an arab and an american are very rish, they all pay 10 millions to go in a magic swimming pool which will make one wish come true. The french guy jumps first he says wine and magically all the water turns to wine, he swims in wine he drinks it and is happy ever after. He gets out take the wine with him and goes away. the arab jumps in and say "petrol" and magically all the water turns to petrol, he swims in it for a time and gets out, a truck takes all the petrol out. The american walks for a while around the pool, because he doesn't know what to wish, suddenly he slips, he says "oh cr*p". as we say in france retourne te faire sucer par ton chien sale con d'americain Thanks Adrien p.s. the french jokes are really funny. Doctor Sinister says: Nice try you stupid turd but I am not American. Erm - can you actually read or did you just miss the bit about me originally being English? Oh silly me - you're French, so of course you can't read - you can't frigging write properly either, and that American "joke" you sent in was pretty funny but was completely ruined by your poor syntax. As I've said before however, I do find it interesting to note that a nation that considers itself so "cultured" and "refined" can find no better way to respond to my views than by attempting to insult me (poorly). Come on guys - I couldn't give a toss how many anti-American jokes you want to send in - is this why I get so many anti-Yank comments? Do you ALL think I'm American? Presumably no-one has twigged yet the reason my site has ".co.uk" at the end. Have ANY of you read my site at all? Besides which, the only nation I have true allegiance to is the "nation" that is Sinister Incorporated - and since none of you knows where my secret island is, you'll find it very difficult to say anything insulting about us. And don't give me that cr*p about "enjoying" the French jokes - just because you of all people know that they are all true... Wow - my Blocked Senders list is getting larger every day - yes it's nice getting the last word...
(94) Date: 24/04/01 Name: Bernadette Chirac Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: you stupid bastard... Doctor Sinister says: Oh that's just marvelous. I see that the art of informed and witty criticism is not dead. Quick - someone tell Oscar Wilde that he has a rival! How long did it take you to think that little comment up Ms. Chirac? Three seconds? Well I'm afraid to p*ss on your parade missy, - but I've been called worse things in my life - and I probably ought to inform you that I am neither stupid nor a bastard. My more than adequate credentials with regard to both my intelligence and parentage can be presented upon request. But not to you, as my Blocked Senders list appears to have gained another entry. It's interesting to note however that the French have nothing to say in response to my reply to "garamante" and have resorted to simple abuse - further proof that they are a degenerate filthy-minded race with nothing to offer the rest of the world. Please hurry up and die - you are taking up valuable space.
(93) Date: 22/04/01 Name: Nik Sex: male Age: 30 to 40 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... some bastard rings you up at eleven o' f*ck*ng clock to try and sell you double glazing when you already have it and anyway you live in a f*ck*ng council house!!! We should use our evil telesales forces in the battle with the French!!! Doctor Sinister says: Only one problem there my loyal follower - the French are so technologically backward it's doubtful they even know what a telephone is - let alone double-glazing.
(92) Date: 18/04/01 Name: garamante Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: Poor guy... You don't understand why european find you are xenophobe ... A good joke : why a lot of english use to go in France for holiday ? Because food in england is vile, there is no wine, the climat is horrible, no mountains, oh excuse me it's not a joke. Hummm, the good joke is .... we absolutly don't mind about your joke !!!! ;0). We are happy, we love our country and our neighbours : spanish, italian, deutch ..., we often visit them, and they do the same ... And in England ? Doctor Sinister says: No my friend, you are the "poor guy". You are part of a nation that is universally reviled - you only have to read the comments in this Guestbook to see that I speak the truth. You however, speak a stagnant, unevolving and unnecessarily complicated language that will soon be irrelevant across the globe. Your nation is the butt of jokes across the planet. It is a lie to say that you love your country - as a nation, you all hate it. You hate it so much you are even prepared to allow German troops to march across your borders whenever they feel like it. You are happy to surrender entire armies so you may lie in the sun and wait for others to spill the blood of their young to liberate your homeland for you. Is this the act of a Xenophobic nation? I think not. And since Germany has been militarily castrated, you are happy to have her people walk all over you yet again and conquer your pathetic people using the new weapon of European democracy. If you truly had any pride - you would fight the juggernaut of red tape and bureaucracy that is the EU - instead, you lie prone and eagerly await to be absorbed into the European gestalt of rules and regulations that no-one understands and few desire. How long until you all drown in the mess you are so happy to create for yourselves? Will the English have to bail you out yet again? "we often visit them, and they do the same" - if, by this, you mean that they often decide to attack you - then doesn't this say something about France? Oh no - I forgot, the rest of the world is wrong isn't it? Yes, we are all out of step with you aren't we? WRONG! No wine in England? Well maybe the English aren't a nation of sad alcoholics like the French. Horrible climate? I'm sorry, I wasn't aware this was a competition. After all, 57,000,000 people can't be wrong. Presumably it can't possibly be this terrible climate that bred the people who founded the greatest Empire the Earth has ever known? No - of course not, instead the English simply cowered in their mud huts and sheltered from the rain didn't they? WRONG! No mountains? Well, that's technically incorrect, but so what? I was not aware that in order to be a great country one had to have mountains. Interesting. Erm - why? "the good joke is .... we absolutly don't mind about your joke !!!!" - no, of course not, that's why you felt the need to write in - because you "don't care". Yeah right. Of course you care or you would never have bothered. Vile food? Yes, that would explain the enormous death rate from starvation in England (sarcasm). Well everybody there looked pretty healthy last time I visited. Here's a little lesson for you - you should eat to live, you should not live to eat. Why do French meals take so long? Well there are two reasons - the law of averages states that if you spend long enough eating - you might eventually come across something palatable. Since when have slimey garden creatures been top of anyone's list of "nice things to eat?" Give me a plate of chips any day. The second reason is because you have nothing else of interest to do - your country is so boring because your society is surrounded by people who hate you - and have no particular desire to do anything for you - except conquer you. Your demise is inevitable. You say you love your neighbours - but in the same sentence you deride England. Yet you also imply that England is a neighbour. Double-standards? Surely not!? Well, the truth is "garamante"- England is not your "neighbour" - in case you hadn't noticed, it is a series of ISLANDS and separated from you by water. England has no neighbours other than Scotland and Wales. You love your true neighbours because they are like you - scum, with the possible exception of Germany who at least have the balls to admit that they aren't going to just lie back and take a load of cr*p from anyone else. And if you truly do not care about our "joke", then I would be interested to see if you care enough to reply. Your country is the weakest link - goodbye.
(91) Date: 12/04/01 Name: wang chi min Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...nick 'inbred cretin boy' chauvin has the nerve to believe he even has the right to complain. chauvin...sounds like french to me. quick chauvin run! the commies are coming...duck and cover u f**kin obese slack-jawed idiot. america is too stupid to rule the world (as they so often claim) they're too stupid to rule their own poxy country and i use the word country in it's loosest context. one word u tubby yank wankstains....VIETNAM. in fact here's four words.....CHINA = VIETNAM THE SEQUEL! Doctor Sinister says: Yeah, Chauvin. Never thought about that - dammit, must have been having a bad day! Re' the China thing - I had to laugh really - and now the truth can be revealed. You see, it was a S.INC Stealth Fighter that actually caused the collision - yes, this was our first attempt to stir up something of a war that we could all sit back and watch for a laugh - and then emerge after the dust had settled, wipe out the victor and seize control of the planet. Alas, it failed, but we all learn from our mistakes and we'll get it right in the end. Oh yes...
(90) Date: 06/04/01 Name: Karl Bakarat Sex: not given Age: not given Comment: Your site is cool. I liked the nazi stuff its funny. Well anyway KEEP PUTTING UP MORE SITES LIKE THIS.please. Bye. Doctor Sinister says: Why should I put up more sites like this? What am I going to do? Start another criminal organisation and compete against myself? And why are you apparently named after a card game?
(89) Date: 01/04/01 Name: rosaleen farrell Sex: female Age: 15 to 18 Comment: i notice you replyed to my previous email offering my services as evil advisor. appointing you cat in my stead seemed a logial choice. but can a cat go after the good guy and hopelessly fight him while you take up you position in your office with the swivilly chair pointed away from the door so you can turn around and say "so we meet again mr <fill in space< when he bursts in the door??? when this happens my advise is to shoot him straight off and reserve your sarcatic comments for gloating over his dead body. you also offered me canada. i must decline, celine dion is canadain and i want nothing to do with the slimy whiny french talking bitch. i would on the other hand like china, i want to be able to get chow mein and rice all the time and everyone know the only thing a canadian can cook is boiled squirrel. ps my cat is evil can he join your legions? he is black and last week he bit the neighbours french poddle. i have trained him well..... yours now and when your ruler of the universe. bloodedrose Doctor Sinister says: I remember you - you were the person who hated everybody. Yes indeed, comment number 45. Welcome back! Now then - hmmm. China. Now there's a thought - haven't really considered what to do with that one. OK - it's a deal, you can rule China in my name - until and unless I think of something nastier to do with it, in which case you can have Taiwan instead. As for the swivelly chair - have you got a camera in my office or something? Or am I really so transparent? Yes, the secret is out - I DO indeed have a swivelly chair. It is black, leather, bulletproof and came from Office World. As for your cats - yes your cats can join, cats are always welcome additions to our ranks of Agents. As indeed are Teddy Bears. Burble burble burble...
(88) Date: 01/04/01 Name: Nick Chauvin Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: This complaint is about the French, I am sure that no one will mind. Having laughed quiet hard at the 'Why the French are Scum' section of this site, the photo of the incredibally ugly Statue of Liberty sparked a thought. Those wine sniffing, snail slurping, hairy stinking bastards gave us that horrible thing with the intention of screwing the United States. Each year hundreds of thousands of non-English speaking scum come flooding over. All of them are so stupid that they think the plaque "Give us your poor, hungry, downtrodden blah, blah" is their RIGHT to come over here illegally or otherwise. This was a ploy carefully engineered by the French government to keep these sorts out of France. Think about it France smells bad enough with all the Frenchies wandering about, why would they want more stinking masses of humanity flooding into their nation? They might not be as dumb as we think, their performance during WWII proves that they are subversive cowards ! who must be watched closely. After all these are people who put mayonayse on their french fries. (Or chips, depending on where you live) Doctor Sinister says: Wow, TWO messages in one day from the same person? You have a lot of anger my friend. And - did you say you were once in the Special Forces? Do you fancy a job?
(87) Date: 01/04/01 Name: Nick Chauvin Sex: male Age: 25 to 30 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I have to deal with ignorant and insulting foreigners in my own country!! Having lived in several disease ridden third world countries(including France)as a child, and serving as a U.S. Army officer in the Special Forces. (At least I got to shoot at the filthy bastards) It is bad enough that the great unwashed masses ruin thier own nations, but is it really necessary to import more dirtbags so they can f*ck up my nice clean country? At least half the time I deal with the public, it is always some idiot from a filthy third world counrty, (where public transportation is vines) who typically shows zero manners and could care less if the service is substandard. These SOB's move here looking for something better in life, and expect success to be handed to them? Wake up morons. The general public in my gergraphic area of the U.S. is becoming meaner and less tolerant of these waves of immigration and bad behaivor. I just hope all ! you foreigners know that the United States is the last nation on Earth where ordinary citizens can own as many firearms as we can afford. Even after eight years the bloodsucking Clinton communists were unable to inflict their will on this great nation. It is unfortunate that our British cousins from across the pond lost some of thier freedoms due to the Clinton Carbon Copy PM. I hope this organization can bring sanity to the rest of the world. Doctor Sinister says: We have gun controls here on S.INC Island as well - if you don't have one, we shoot you. But there is always a downside to having ordinary citizens carrying weapons - for a start, there is always the danger that someone might get the bright idea to stage some kind of coup against the legitimate Government - so to avoid this we simply ensure that the S.INC Island Police and Armed forces have: a) more and: b) bigger guns than everyone else combined. Having one of our orbiting weapons platforms trained on our own population helps as well - especially when only one person has the trigger in his top pocket - yes it's me, Doctor Sinister. Of course the other, and simpler, form of population control that we have with regard to weapons is this: we don't let them have any ammunition. We simply issue it in the event of invasion (not that that's likely to happen) to defend our shores. Being serious for a moment - but without wishing to get into a long debate about this issue (and I certainly do not support the current British Government) - the main reason the British have strict gun controls arises from the fact that people were doing some rather nasty things with them - like walking into a Scottish Primary School with a collection of extremely deadly firearms and wiping out an entire class of 5-year olds along with their teacher. The reasoning was that if the weapons were not so readily available - this sort of thing would be less likely to happen. Now, it seems to me from the reports we get over here on S.INC Island that there are school-related firearms incidents in the US every couple of weeks as a result of some spotty disillusioned kid getting hold of his daddy's 9mm. Why should this be? Because the weapons are available with very little restriction. I rest my case.
(86) Date: 15/03/01 Name: Chris Mason (AKA "Blondie") Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...woman fly of the wall at such a little piddly thing. Why are woman the most difficult species to get a long with? I find it bloody difficult to get along with english woman i darent think what the French woman are like, hairy i suppose? Oh and i hate poofs. Doctor Sinister says: Aaaaahhhh - greetings Agent C (for the uninitiated amongst you, S.INC has a large network of Agents around the globe - and this is one of them). Glad to see you are doing well - although I pity you with regards to the woman situation - yes yes, I quite agree. The future Mrs Sinister herself has quite a temper - and can be most irrational at times. We have to be careful she doesn't start throwing things if she gets annoyed - the last time she did that, half of Uzbekistan was wiped off the face of the planet when the teapot she threw at my head collided with the controls to our old Earthquake machine. But I love her anyway.
(85) Date: 14/03/01 Name: Sgt. Bloodbath Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when the Government of France puts yet another hit on me. You know what is REALLY stupid, I'm only worth about 650,000 Franc's. All this because I belong to the AFS(Anti-Frog Society), and maybe the fact that I defiled the Louve' in a manner that I will not get into here. If the whole Earth is a living thing, then France, I assume, is the end result of a bowel movement. Oh! Should any frogs be reading this(if you can read at all), GO HOME!!! Doctor Sinister says: 650,000 Francs? What's that in real money? About 50p?
(84) Date: 14/03/01 Name: Anti-Christ Sex: male Age: 21 to 25 Comment: The
French aren't the only evil S.O.B.'s out to get us, don't forget the friggin'
Japs. First, they bomb our harbor's, then they sell us their cars, motorcycles,
VCR's, TV'd, etc., now, it's our government they want. They give the friggin'
Democrats their Yen to get into power, then they take away our rights and
freedoms. It's pricks like Bill Clinton that give our country a bad rap. That
old fart oughta be anally electricuted. Who am I, I am just another guy who
listened to too much Sex Pistols as a kid. I dream of anarchy. No French, no
Jap's, and no Hommies. By the way, here's a French joke for you (posted
on the jokes page). Doctor Sinister says: Wow! Messages from God, and now the Anti-Christ! Is this site popular or what? And by the way, there's nothing wrong with buying Governments - S.INC do it all the time.
(83) Date: 07/03/01 Name: stormlord Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Oh
my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... bill clinton or democrats are coplemented when
you rule the world plz execute bill clinton and his followers Doctor Sinister says: I think this just has to win the award for the most nonsensical E-mail of the month - and we've still got most of it to go. "Coplemented"? I beg your pardon? Is this a word? I think not. What the HELL are you talking about my friend? In addition, I think you'll find that you are just a tad out of date - haven't you heard? Clinton - ISN'T PRESIDENT ANY MORE. HELLO?!?!?! The one and only redeeming factor of your E-mail is your comment about our friends from across the Channel. Well done.
(82) Date: 04/03/01 Name: josef Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my Goodness I get sooooo MIFFED when...i'm attempting to subvert the cause of justice with a well placed plastic explosive and i notice that there is no detonator supplied. damn harrods and their inferior products! i had the judge killed in any case, but the whole affair was quite irritating. Doctor Sinister says: Yes it's odd that Harrods can't supply explosives AND detonators when you consider the fact that the place is run by an ARAB. Bloody rag-heads couldn't organise a proper Intifada if they tried.
(81) Date: 27/02/01 Name: phil Sex: not given (yes I know the name is "Phil" and I could fill this in myself - but you people haven't seen the actual E-mail, which purported to be from someone called Alison Watson) Age: old enough to do everything legally (not that i wish to) (well why mention it then?) Comment: i am from a similar group (NACASS) wishing to conquer the globe and we wonder if we could form an alliance with you since your views seem to be very similar to ours e.g. we hate the french and many foriegners in general but especially the americans as they are so goddam obsessed with their own existance and also actively encourage the use of nuclear weapons to wipe the mother f*kk&rs off the face of the planet Doctor Sinister says: Haven't you understood anything on this site? There can be room for only one planetary authority and that is ME. We are not prepared to engage in any further alliances because even the ones we've got are complete shams and we'll stab anyone in the back as soon as they are no longer of use to us. Yes, even YOU George "dubya" Bush. And please stop abusing the facilities here - there is no option for age on the Rage Page that says "old enough to do everything legally (not that i wish to)" - so who the hell do you think you are making up your own? Eh? but thanks for identifying yourselves - now that we know your organisation exists we can take steps to have you removed. We can't just have any old Tom Dick Harry or Phil/Alison seeking global domination. Besides which - I don't really want anyone else having the fun of shooting French people in droves.
(80) Date: 26/02/01 Name: Luke Mitchell Sex: male Age: under 15 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... Snoker replaces something good on TV Doctor Sinister says: Snoker? What's that then?
(79) Date: 17/02/01 Name: Matty Boy Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: T.V. license men are scum just like traffic wardens. I am a student a switched on my T.V. for the first time ever, 10 minutes later there was a knock at my door and I had to pay 104.00......Scum...I will kill them ALL. Doctor Sinister says: I'm not listening to you, you are a Student. Enough said.
(78) Date: 13/02/01 Name: god (yes again) Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...<----- now, i'm no fancy uptown lawyer (that's good or you'd be up against the wall already - all Lawyers should be utterly exterminated as the parasitical scum they are) ...........but how do explain that! you said you don't even believe in me. the human race is getting a bit too big for it's wooden clogs. the time has come, release the last of the titans! yes, vanessa feltz! Doctor Sinister says: So you've written in again - just who do you think you are? Oh yeah, that's right, you're God (sarcasm). There go another few hundred smart alec slaves who will undoubtedly point out the further inconsistencies in S.INC policy - I hope you realise that I was up until 02:00 hours last night calming a small revolution in one of the coastal cities of S.INC Island because some *rsehole got a kick out of listing every paragraph in my book ("Doctor Sinister - A Life And Death", available now from all good booksellers, and some bad ones too) where I said that there WAS NO God and then reading out your e-mail to the crowd? Eventually we had to resort to tactical nuclear strikes to calm everybody down - and all because you decided to write in - you GIT. I mean, do you get a kick out of making me look foolish or what? Well I'm sorry Mr God, but you really can't engage in personal correspondence with me like this you know - I'm far too important for that sort of thing. But there are a couple of things I would like to clear up with you before hunting you down. Firstly - doesn't it annoy you to have to refer to yourself when sending in comments via the Rage Page? I refer to the bit that goes "Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...". don't you find that a bit freaky? Secondly - what's your E-mail address and what ISP do you use? God.net or something? I bet it isn't Demon - like we use here (bad pun). And finally - I bet with all your money and omnipotence and stuff that you've got a really sexy PC - what's the spec' and do you play Red Alert 2? You could really kick some backside playing on the Internet if you put your mind to it.
(77) Date: 12/02/01 Name: god (the jews were right) Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...i look down upon france from above (obviously) and i recall with bile induced sickness that i made that. it was on a friday y'see and i wanted to go home so i just rushed the job. i think that accounts for the french apperance, as for the smell, well some things just can't be explained, paul danials for instance. i have to go now and appear in a bowl of weetabix to a bolivian peasant. i have my fun and thats all that matters, i'm a prankster god! sorry again for the whole french thing c'est la vie! muhahahaa Doctor Sinister says: FINALLY!!! Yes, even GOD HIMSELF admits that the FRENCH WERE A MISTAKE!!!!! What further justification do we here at S.INC NEED to Nuke the motherless garlic-chewing vermin? I am SO TEMPTED to just get things over with and press that damned button RIGHT NOW. But alas - I must regrettably show restraint -sometimes there are even worse things than death. Yes, Project Vichy proceeds apace and we will soon have those damned French BEGGING to be re-admitted to the Human Race - admitting they were WRONG ALL ALONG. And let's not forget the extremely exciting prospect that this is (as far as we can tell) the first recorded E-mail from a supernatural deity. I mean - how exciting is that? Having read the above, does anyone else need convincing that Sinister Incorporated is the natural force for ruling the planet? Of course, there is a slight problem here in that I have always stated to my lower echelon slave minions that: a) I don't believe in God, and: b), that I am a God myself. Well, it kept them in line - you know? So, I'm not actually sure what to do now. I expect I'll have to execute few thousand of them to persuade them against pointing out these rather obvious errors in doctrine. Hmmm... this could mean shortages in reactor personnel... Does anyone out there fancy a job?
(76) Date: 03/02/01 Name: huw Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...i cant get on this site Doctor Sinister says: ?
(75) Date: 02/02/01 Name: rage Sex: male Age: 18 to 21 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... people use stupid cliches i mean that just not cricket Doctor Sinister says: Yeah, at the end of the day, it's six of one and half a dozen of the other, swings and roundabouts, and you've got to take the rough with the smooth. And remember - a rolling stone is worth two in the bush.
(74) Date: 21/01/01 Name: joey joe joe Sex: male Age: under 15 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...i go on a holiday to france and i can't understand one word that comes out of their stinking mouths. the men have beards infested with pubic lice and the women are just.....lice. i plan on resurrecting Bismark so he can wipe the vermin out. maybe he could travel the country with a tank of pestacide strapped to his back and obviously a gas mask .....they smell like rotting fish over there. Doctor Sinister says: And so say all of us.
(73) Date: 21/01/01 Name: Professor Dm Sex: male Age: Old as the hills Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo MIFFED when...browsing the nuclear arms section of the argos catalogue and find that i have to pay for shipping costs IN FREAKIN EURO'S! the bastards i had the entire staff at argos eliminated promptly of course. how many shekles to the euro anyway, sheer french maddness. Doctor Sinister says: The ONLY reason the French have so embraced the insanity that is the "Yuro" is because they are so scared of Germany invading them YET AGAIN if they don't pander to the Krauts' latest plan to conquer Europe. France has sold out completely this time - and is now nothing but the lap dog of Germany. But hey - let's not knock the EU because without their kindly donations, we wouldn't be the primary Supervillains in the world these days - would we? My local "Argos" doesn't sell nuclear weapons - following a recent high-street bloodbath between shop staff, they have agreed a strategic arms limitation treaty with their eternal rivals, "Littlewoods Index" and have consequently restricted sales of weapons of mass destruction. "Woolworths" however are quite amenable to supplying anything from a fuel-air bomb to a custom-made orbital weapons platform. Funny how retailers differ isn't it?
(72) Date: 18/01/01 Name: The Huge Marsbar Sex: male Age: 15 to 18 Comment: I
WANT TO BLOW THE HELL OUT OF THOSE F**KING FRENCH BASTARDS them with there queer
voices and just plain gayness. If you could please could you drop a couple of
nukes on France just to get rid of there stinking waste that people call france.
I also agree with Shadow when he tells the truth about that scummy rase that
people call TOWNIES. I hate the f**king lot of them and i wish that they
would all die from dangerous chemicals given of by there shite clothes. fianlly i wish to congratulate u on a trully supurb site i have read nearly all
of the comments and i agree with 99% of them if you ever need a willing follower
to do your biding then just contact me and Shadow (as I know him) and i'm sure
that with alittle equiptment we could both blow the cr*p out of all that you at
that rage page hate
(71) Date: 18/01/01 Name: charlie Sex: female Age: 15 to 18 Comment: Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...people in my music class have no respect for me (especially the boys) they use me as their punch bag and continuously torment me just cause i'm the only girl in the class that will stand up to them! (mind you there is only seven of us in the class,3 boys,4 girls) Doctor Sinister says: Music class? Wow, that must be cool - do you listen to CDs or do they just play the radio at you?
(70) Date: 15/01/01 Name: not given Sex: male Age: under 15 Comment: the
execution of all mtv presenters does not seem to be happening..........why?
i want immediate action , bloody and brutal and involving so sort of blunt power
tool with an industrial suction device of some kind. no prisioners! Doctor Sinister says: Only if I can have Sara Cox. Oh and, congratulations, you win a prize as you are the first person to write to me this century. Dunno what the prize will be yet - either a quick death or a box of chocs. |
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