(406) Date:     29/04/03

Name:    hick mike

Sex:    male

Age:    18 to 21

Comment:    Dammit I get so ANGRY when... the fucking frenchstab us in the back AGAIN. Hell in WWII the only people they actually had the balls to shoot at were the American troops in North Africa who were there to save there asses (and yes, of course they were soundly whooped for it, we sunk their whole damn navy in 3 days). But you Brits just found documents in Iraq proving that the frogs gave Saddam inside information on all their dealings with the U.S. and may have even tried to help him prepare for the war. Like Dennis Miller said, first invade Iraq, then invade Chirac. It's about damn time they were made to face the consequences of their actions, and I hope to hell I'm there when they go down. God bless America and her allies!
HOOAH!
-mike

Doctor Sinister says:    No, God bless ME and my Empire.

 

(405) Date:     28/04/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    damn french-lovng-commie-scum

Doctor Sinister says:    Who?  ME?  Erm - haven't you read ANYTHING here?

 

(404) Date:     27/04/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    The French have been known to start many wars and eentuallyget the crap beat out of them. Or in other cases they are attacked by an enemy. Here is a list that comes to my mind about major French wars won and lost.

1. French Indian War: Loss
2. The French Revolution: Win ( Im shocked they didnt find a way o lose)
3. Franco-Prussian war: Loss
4. World War 1 invasion of France: Loss
5. World War 2 invasion of France: Loss
6. Start of Vietnam War: Loss

A recod of 1-5 and the win was aginst themselves

Doctor Sinister says:    More like this one please.  These are facts that cannot be disputed.

 

(403) Date:     27/04/03

Name:    paul collingwood

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...it`s not about when it`s about the people and the system french shits the german shits and poxy asylum seekers. do not buy anything french or german!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor Sinister says:    This is supposed to make sense?

 

(402) Date:     26/04/03

Name:    Dr. S.Craig Barton

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    Frtau Catina is a fraud

Your antiFrench postings are amusing but someone slipped one by you (maybe) The German version rips on Bush! Actually the whole joke is adapted from an anti-Bush English version. 

See highlight below: 
120) Date: 04/04/03 

Name: Ms Aurelie Catena 

Sex: female 

Age: not given 

Joke(s): Hi! 

First to know you must that not my first language is English and thus strange will look my sentences. Anyway by the words is not stopped the Wise and only the Meaning he does consider. 

Moreover, the joke I'm going to send (it will come, be patient) was originally sent to me in German, which is also not my first language, and I had to translate it into English. Hopefully it will have kept all its original sting after the two-step processing. Here it is (for those among you who prefer to read it in the original version, I shall put it at the end): 

Three Texan surgeons are playing golf and discuss about the latest advances in surgery. The first surgeon says: "I'm the best surgeon in Texas. A pianist lost 7 fingers during an accident, I took care of him and 8 months later he gave a private concert for the Queen of England". 

The second says: "That's crap. A young man lost both arms and one leg during an accident, I took care of him and two years later he won a golden medail at the Olympic games." 

Then the third spoke: "Your are but amateurs. A few years ago, a man, drunk from alcohol and cocain, was hit frontally by a train at 80 mph. All that was left from the accident was the arse of his horse and his cow-boy's hat. By now he is president of the France !" 

Funny, isn'it? 

Aurelie 

And now, for those who prefer it, the German version: 

Drei Texanische Chirurgen spielen Golf und unterhalten sich über die Fortschritte in der Chirurgie. Einer sagt, "ich bin der beste Chirurg in Texas. Ein Konzertpianist verlor 7 Finger bei einem Unfall, Ich habe sie wieder angenäht und 8 Monate später hat er ein privat Konzert bei der Königin von England gegeben." 

Ein anderer sagt. "Das ist nichts. Ein junger Mann verlor beide Arme und beide Beine bei einem Unfall, Ich habe sie wieder angenäht und 2 Jahre später hat er eine Goldmedaille an den olympischen Spielen gewonnen." 

Der dritte Chirurg meint, "Ihr seid Amateure. Vor einigen Jahren ritt ein Mann high von Kokain und Alkohol frontal in einen Zug der mit 80 Meilen daher kam. Alles was noch übrig war, war das Arsch des Pferdes und der Hut des Cowboys. Heute ist er Präsident der Vereinigten Staaten." (President of the United States) 

Frau Catina is a fraud 

Doctor Sinister says:    Well, what a bitch!

 

(401) Date:     26/04/03

Name:    Tina Parthey

Sex:    female

Age:    not given

Comment:    hello my name is Tina and I just wanted to say something to you guys. I understand and laughed at most of your jokes against the french, but the only thing I was annoyed at is how you ever cracked some jokes about the french people who died in the wars. I mean yeah they might've been french but they are still people who died. Would you like it if people made fun 
of the loved ones you lost. Doubtful. Well thats all I had to say, and thank you for reading this. 

Doctor Sinister says:    I have a cousin called Tina.  Just thought I'd mention that.  This isn't her though.

 

(400) Date:     26/04/03

Name:    Carreja

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    Anti-French jokes

Poor guys.............

Doctor Sinister says:    Who, the French?  Yeah I know...

 

(399) Date:     26/04/03

Name:    Ronald Dumsfeld

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30.

Comment:    PLEASE BOYCOTT ALL FRENCH PRODUCTS! FRANCE IS FILLED WITH THE SCUM OF HUMANITY! I HATE THE DAMN FRENCH GOVERNMENT! MAKE THEM PAY FOR THIER BACKSTABBING!

Doctor Sinister says:    That's the plan.

 

(398) Date:     25/04/03

Name:    Just as messenger

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    Deep Thoughts 
Why does the world turn, yet the moon doesn't?  Let's ask God about that one.  God:"The moon doesn't turn because I said so." 
That's deeeeeeeeep.  How does this relate to your world domination?  It doesn't.  It's deep thoughts.

Doctor Sinister says:    But the moon does turn - it turns at the same rate as it orbits the Earth which is why the same side always faces the planet.  So it's not as deeeeeeeeep as you seem to think.

 

(397) Date:     25/04/03

Name:    lizzo

Sex:    female

Age:    18 to 21

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... a bunch of american idiots use a load of anti-french British created jokes that they obviously wouldn't have the intellect to write. You can make fun of the french but it was the bloody IRISH who had to be bought in to Basra to finish what u yankees couldn't. And guys come on you can diss the french for surrendering but at least the french didn't/doesn't kill more of its own/allied troops than the enemy. You can hate the french but then u jumped on the bandwagon a bit late cuz everyone has always hated the french and u. 

Doctor Sinister says:    Stock response number 1 - I'm not American.  Next!

 

(396) Date:     22/04/03

Name:    yurgen burgen

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... I get my nobnob trapped in my zipper, and when trying to remove it, accidently get my balls stuck in there too, whilst at school, and having to get up in front of the class with my wiener and nads hanging out and bleeding all over the place, and give a presentation about the dangers of metal clothing.

Biatch!!!

Doctor Sinister says:    You've been watching "There's Something About Mary" again haven't you?

 

(395) Date:     22/04/03

Name:    Nostradumbass

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    The sky will burn at...what was I saying?  Usta verna vorda va.  Oh yea, in the year of December 21, 2012 the Frenchies will burn at 40 degrees.

Doctor Sinister says:    What, not even a boil wash?

 

(394) Date:     19/04/03

Name:    David Bourgault (I'm French)

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    You do know that everyone in Europe comes from France (except for Germany and Norse countries) so too bad. you have french in you too.  you cunts

Doctor Sinister says:    If you believe that, then I'm afraid you are going to look bloody silly in your next history exam son.

 

(393) Date:     18/04/03

Name:    Requiem

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Just a little quote from an american author : Isaac Asimov.  "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent"

Have a nice day...

Doctor Sinister says:    Well, that's as maybe, but Asimov also saw that there would be occasions when there would be a need for violence when absolutely necessary - anyone who has read the Robot and Foundation novels will know this to be true - witness "The Zeroth Law".  What's that?  You mean you didn't research the man and his works properly?  

Please don't pretend that throwing random quotations at me makes you intelligent.  

You have a nice day yourself.

 

(392) Date:     18/04/03

Name:    Brian Rook

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    France gave us the Statue of Liberty in 1886, annnnd we've been paying for it ever since.

Doctor Sinister says:    Big price to pay.  Make your own and send it back for a refund.

 

(391) Date:     17/04/03

Name:    oliver

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...fuckin retards like you just spend their lives lickin Bush without thinkin. Don't you know that 99 per cent of the population on this planet SPIT on USA and feel grateful to France to stand against this bunch of brainless warriors. FUCK USA KILL BUSH and NUKE TEXAS

Doctor Sinister says:    I can see that you've never licked any bush in your whole life otherwise you wouldn't be such a sorry individual.

 

(390) Date:     13/04/03

Name:    Sophie Monlouis

Sex:    female

Age:    not given

Comment:    Happily french poeple know that american and english poeple are not all like you.  A french girl against your war and your desire to control the world.

Doctor Sinister says:    Enemies, enemies, everywhere.  Sigh, another one for the list.

 

(389) Date:     12/04/03

Name:    demanu

Sex:    male

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    Hi, i'm ben, paris, france, 23 years old

I'm french. I'm not proud of it. I think that the fact to be proud of being a french, an american is totally stupid. Don't U think that, this is dangerous when a people believe that HIS politic, culture, religion is the best, and every other mind are wrong ??? French have a great number of jews and muslims, and we the tension and situation in palestine. Do you know what happen in palestine ?? Do you really think that this war will help for peace, and to make terrorists out ?????  I hope receive your point of view and your answer.   bye

Doctor Sinister says:    Did I mention I wasn't American?  And no, what's wrong with believeing that your culture is superior?  It's called survival of the fittest - and your Frenchies are pretty much heading towards extinction.  Yes, I do know what happens in Palestine - I'm not ignorant.  How is this relevant exactly?

 

(388) Date:     12/04/03

Name:    fanny (titter)

Sex:    female

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I got sooooo ANGRY when...i saw your stupid site.  i'm french and i cannot bear all the things you said about us. how did you get so clever to guess who we are really? First look at yourself and your 1me minister before talking

Doctor Sinister says:    How did I get so clever?  Aw, gee, thanks.

 

(387) Date:     12/04/03

Name:    Pascal

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    You suck, you fascist, you nazi. I don't hate american people, but I hate american people like you. Fuck you.  CENSORED AS WRITTEN IN FRENCH.

Doctor Sinister says:    Hate away my boy - since I'm not American.  Did I mention that?

 

(386) Date:      12/04/03

Name:    John

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    A merger

Dear Dr. S.,

Hello, I am The All High Emperor and Overlord of the Universe and All Creation John. I was wondering if, since all you want is Earth, you would like to join forces and create a super force of evil and rule, not only the world, but the entire Universe with an iron fist. I've throught this out, and I think that we could set up some sort of system, I would be a figure head and, you know, be the guy that is put on money and decides the outcomes of trials, lives in a castle and helps control the peasents. You on the other hand, would be the group behind the guy who makes all the decions. If you7 wanted some law to be passed I would pass it, you would enforce the laws and i would make them. It would be the perfect relationship.

If this is to your liking, or if you have a few suggestions, please e-mail me back at: Rebounder1@aol.com

Sincerly,

The All High Emperor and Overlord of the Universe and All Creation John 

Doctor Sinister says:    Dear Sir,

How can I trust you? How do I know that you wouldn't stab me in the back the moment it was turned?

But - more importantly - do I get to nuke France?

 

(385) Date:      12/04/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    r u o k.
Yea, I'm just a little pist about being fired
hey, shit happens.
Since when has shit been happening
Since the French came into this world.
O yea, almost forgot, I feel better now

Doctor Sinister says:    Come and work for me.  I have good rates and the work is fun and rewarding.

 

(384) Date:      12/04/03

Name:    Jason

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... people make fun of white people because we "oppress" minoritys.

Doctor Sinister says:    That's right, why shouldn't we oppress minorities?  Somebody has to, and it's fun.

 

(383) Date:      11/04/03

Name:    Phil R?

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    Why don;t we speal French?

Sin,

A few weeks ago, there was a conference that included admirals in both the US, UK and the French navies. At a cocktail reception, there was a small group that included an admiral from each of the three navies. The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, and the Brits and Yanks only learned English. He then asked. "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you have to speak French?" Without even hesitating, the admirals replied. "Maybe it is because we arranged it so that you did not have to learn to speak German." 

Told you we'd trodden over Iraq, next up: Syria, Iran and last but not least, North Korea. Sin man tell em what they are going to win. A Royal ass kicking from the Brits and a paddle to the ass from the Yanks. 

Brilliant site
Pete

Doctor Sinister says:    Got this one already.

 

(382) Date:      10/04/03

Name:    Aaron "Fuckwit" Bikerton

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    The French.  During the American Revolution, the French helped the americans succeed by offering troops, arms, tons of money, and even naval support (perhaps just another way to get back at their arch enemy) but the fact still remains

your country wouldnt be much without them

nuff said

Aaron

Doctor Sinister says:    Erm - my country is England. So I'm not sure what your point is.  Are you trying to win the "Fuckwit of the Month" award?

'Nuff said.

Dr. S.

 

(381) Date:    10/04/03

Name:    dani

Sex:    male

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...because france has been chage it policy about IRAQ.he She not help Iraqi people with arms agaisnt usa

Doctor Sinister says:    Erm, in ENGLISH please?

 

(380) Date:      09/04/03

Name:    Kyle Mealyu

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    Military Unintelligence
During World War 1, a single German soilder captured a French Fort. The infantryman on a reconnaissance patrol stumbled through a tunnel that led him into Fort Douaumont, where the French had posted no guards. The surprised German soilder locked the enemy inside their barracks and opened the gates to his company. In the battle to retake the fort, the French army lost 100,000 men

Doctor Sinister says:    Did they lose them down the back of the sofa?

 

(379) Date:      09/04/03

Name:    adam chapin

Sex:    female (?)

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...my dad packs me in the ass, and i like it....why do i liked to get fucked in the ass by my dad? ne one know....

Doctor Sinister says:    Because you are a sick twisted pervert with a nice ass?

 

(378) Date:      09/04/03

Name:    Ben

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...The United Nations thinks they have the right to re-build Iraq.  HEELLLOOOO!!! WHO IS TAKEING OVER THE COUNTRY RIGHT NOW??  WHAT TO BRAVE COUNTRIES ARE TAKING OUT SADDAM AND IS PUSSY-ASS'D REPUBLICAN GUARD??  The United States Of America and England...damn strait bitches, FRANCE sure as hell isn't in there, cuz i don't think Saddam has needed any sexual favors lately from Jaques.  OK, I know i've gone off topic, but the UN is basically full of tiny, little piss poor countries.  To put it bluntly, the UN serves no purpose, and France sucks.  So those smelly pond creatures and those bleeding heart liberals can go shut the hell up and leave the STRONG, and the BRAVE, and the COURAGOUSLY SMART countries ALONE. GOOD DAY!

Doctor Sinister says:    Erm, unless I'm very much mistaken, EVERY country is a member of the UN - so what's that about piss poor countries?

 

(377) Date:      08/04/03

Name:    Dr. Yes

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    my complaint is too long :/

Doctor Sinister says:    Well, it's original, at least.

 

(376) Date:      08/04/03

Name:    Darkestlight

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I read bullshit articles about how the U.S is evil and not the iraqis and taliban fucks, not only that but those god damned french are anti-war anti-american and -anti-english  I think the AMERICANS and the ENGLISH should take ALL the frech and send the to northern greenland

Doctor Sinister says:    Bit unfair on the Eskimos isn't it?

 

(375) Date:      07/04/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    A friend of mine is an officer in the U.S. Naval reserve. A few weeks ago, he was attending a conference that included admirals from both the U.S. Navy and the French Navy. 

At a cocktail reception, my friend found himself in a small group that included personel from both navies.

The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learned English. He then asked: "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you speak French?" 

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it's because we arranged it so that you did not have to speak German." 

The group became silent. 

Doctor Sinister says:    Not much I can add to this really.

 

(374) Date:      06/04/03

Name:    lAURIE FOX

Sex:    female

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    i COULDN'T HOOK ON TO YOUR5 HYPER LINK...TOO BAD....
I WILL WAKE UP IN THE A.M ANMD MAKE MY FIANCEE SOME FREEDOM TOAST. SCREW THE FRENCH. THEY ARE SUCK UP ASSHOLES, THEY HAVE NEVER LIKED AMERICANS.; II HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT MY SISTER GETTING SICK IN FRANCE.L LET US HEAR FROM YOU.

Doctor Sinister says:    No, I'll skip it, thanks.  Especially as you didn't give me your E-mail address.

 

(373) Date:      05/04/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    Hello guys,

the level of this site is incredibly loooooooooooooooooooooow.

I said those kind of jokes when I was 10 year old.

WHAT IS THE POINT ??

Doctor Sinister says:    It's called brainwashing - I'm dumbing everyone down so I can take over the world.

 

(372) Date:      04/04/03

Name:    American

Sex:    male

Age:    18 to 21

Comment:    the ungrateful french decide that us liberating their country wasnt enough to help us take down some goddamn arab shithole that rapes his countrymen. I mean, i know that France had some down and dirty shit with the nazis (Paris fell without a battle? we at least fought for washington dc when you bastards burned it down in 1817)again, look at the damn vichy government! collaborationist smelly sheep fucking french bastards. Im sure we could send up a friggin paper plane to bomb them and france would give us the keys to paris. but im not interested in seeing the french surrender, if i wanted to see that id watch the fucking history channel. id rather see paris carpet bombed and turned into a series of craters that resembles nothing more than the surface of the moon.

Doctor Sinister says:    Wow, you just got older really quickly.

 

(371) Date:      04/04/03

Name:    American

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    Some "Ameriacan" queer sent some crap that the french arent that gay. no other Americans think so. The rench and that queer french lover should go kill themselves to spare us the time

Doctor Sinister says:    If they had any self-respect they would.  But they don't, they are French.

 

(370) Date:      03/04/03

Name:    Amy Price

Sex:    female

Age:    not given

Comment:    (i pity you)

You speak out of your ass, you don't know what you are talking about, do you know any french people at all? they are the same as the english ok they have funny traditions (some GOOD FOOD & WINE) and come out with some bloody wiered expressions but that is no need to critisize, I am english my self but people like you should just die ASSHOLE

amy(english) and ehouarn(french)

Doctor Sinister says:    Ah, my yearly message from Amy and her "thing"friend.  Yes ladies and gents, we got this same message exactly a year ago - number 186 to be precise.  Can we expect it again in a year's time?

Yes, I do know some French people and yes, they ARE scum.  You, Amy, are a TRAITOR to your country.

 

(369) Date:      01/04/03

Name:    JaKe JeKel

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...people bitch about being poor and living in the ghetto when they wear $200 shoes and have more videos games then i have ever seen. I might not be dirt poor , but i didnt move , i was evicted from my house because we couldnt pay , people dont know shit about being poor.

Doctor Sinister says:    I agree with you on this one.

 

(368) Date:      01/04/03

Name:    David Knapp

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    I believe the expression, "Pardon my French" will be replaced by:"Pardon me
for using French."

David Knapp
Richmond, VA

Doctor Sinister says:    Let's hope so.

 

(367) Date:      29/03/03

Name:    u don't need to know

Sex:    female

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    first, when reading your page about french people, i laughed... (i thought it was really ironical) then, when i read comments in your guestbook, i was scared ! just can't believe it... some people seem to believe WE don't wash, etc, etc ... but how dare you stupid british people ! YOU eat some weird jelly, YOU live on an island where you can never see the sun shining, and YOUR tony blair is being george bush's dog in a conflict which should never have been triggered off ! you british motherfuckers would like to be as mighty as the yanks but you fuck up everything...(see, i tried to be as aggressive as you can be because i still don't know if you do believe what you write) nevermind, we dont like you neither !!!!!

Doctor Sinister says:    I believe everything I write - OTHERWISE I WOULDN'T FUCKING WRITE IT WOULD I?!?!?!?!?!?!  Jesus, what a dullard.

 

(366) Date:      29/03/03

Name:    stupid white man

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    i'm the stupid white american,who let my people (only the bad educated ones) fight against iraq. and i wanted to say that you (it seems you are not as well educated either) are very welcome to join the army and help us to kill people who dare to have different opinions than we, while you are doing all this work, me toni and saddam will drink a beer together and look how funny you guys look when you kill eachother.  Thank you for joining the army (you'll never get anything out of it, but you will make a few of us unbelivable rich!)

Doctor Sinister says:    Yes, however clearly not educated enough yourself to learn how to SPELL.  You go off and do the fighting yourself, I'd rather sit behind the scenes and manipulate events as they unfold.  I'll look after your beer.

 

(365) Date:      28/03/03

Name:    Declan

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... You keep knocking commies! Prepare to die Sinister Inc!

Doctor Sinister says:    Bring it on Red.

 

(364) Date:      28/03/03

Name:    John Peck

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    We the French hereby vow to fight our common enemies to the last Englishman and American.

Doctor Sinister says:    Would be funny, if it wasn't true.

 

(363) Date:      27/03/03

Name:    french guy

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    everything taht is said on this site is shit. We are french proud to be and we fuck the english people. Winston churchill said:"You had to choose against war or dishonnor. You have chosen war and you will have dishonnor."

Doctor Sinister says:    What the fuck are you talking about?

 

(362) Date:      27/03/03

Name:    Scolly

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...my girlfriend won't give me a backstage pass.  If you could see what her backside looks like, you would feel me. 

Doctor Sinister says:    Do it when she's asleep then.

 

(361) Date:      26/03/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    Oh dear, I just can't understand why so many people are being unkind to the French.  My sister went on a school exchange in 1954 for two weeks, and she said that she had met at least two nice people at Dover.

Doctor Sinister says:    Ha!

 

(360) Date:      26/03/03

Name:    Eric

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    I like it

As an American, I really appreciate your website. I always knew that France and the UK did not get along, mostly cause you guys kicked their asses a few times, but I never knew it was similar to the U.S. I truly love my British comrades and realize that you are America's greatest ally. Funny, the two best countries on the face of the planet are best of friends. 
Keep up the good work, 
Eric from St. Paul, Minnesota 

Doctor Sinister says:    Aah, that's nice.

 

(359) Date:      26/03/03

Name:    joe

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    why does everyone hate the french? 

Doctor Sinister says:    Don't you KNOW?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 

(358) Date:      26/03/03

Name:    u dont say

Sex:    male

Age:    18 to 21

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I wake up in the morning and remember that the french are still alive.

Doctor Sinister says:    Try amnesia then.

 

(357) Date:      26/03/03

Name:    shannon

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...people slap my ass.  So...I have a nice ass.

Doctor Sinister says:    And a girl's name.

 

(356) Date:     26/03/03

Name:    Rolo

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...those damn chinese voices in my head talk to me.  I mean how the hell do you decipher that.

Doctor Sinister says:    Try ringing the Chinese Embassy.  That's what I do.  They are very helpful.

 

(355) Date:      25/03/03

Name:    Keyser Soze

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when....I have to have to let one go when I'm next to a beautiful women.  I will give myself a charly horse every time "I" let that happen.

Doctor Sinister says:    ?

 

(354) Date:      25/03/03

Name:    Ken Driver

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    lilly livered frogs

Here's one you wont print!

I am so anti french I would rather have 27 kids than buy a french letter.  But what can you expect from a nation who insists upon speaking a dead language rather than learning English.  And for heavens sake, who gave the snail eating, pro Nazi Bar stewards a place on the permanent Security Council anyway?  If they deserved one then surely france's great friends italy and germany did.  

signed
A very pro American Brit

ps Do they really threaten you with a gun?  I don't know why because I think you are doing a great job.

Pps I think de Gaul was queer

ex WW2 Royal Navy

Doctor Sinister says:    Sir,

Thanks for your E-mail.

Just out of interest, why do you think I won't print (publish) this?

I just found a rather interesting site: www.francestinks.com. Haven't had time to read it all yet, but if you are a pro-American French hater, it seems to be the place to go.

(353) Date:      24/03/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    French people will see you later in hell.

Doctor Sinister says:    Well that's a start, at least you admit that's where they'll end up.

 

(352) Date:      24/03/03

Name:    drico

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when i visit stupid site like yours,with that horrible graphical interface. It's looking like old shit of the eightie's.

Doctor Sinister says:    What would you know about the 80's Mr. "Aged 15 to 18" guy?  Play many 80's games when you were an embryo?

 

(351) Date:    24/03/03

Name:    Mike

Sex:    male

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    An observation about the crash of the Concorde:

Just think, with the crash of the Concord, Air France has killed more Germans than the French Air Force in World War II.

Doctor Sinister says:    You can handle the complaints about this one!!

 

(350) Date:      23/03/03

Name:    Kenneth Smith

Sex:    male

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I even think about the fucking frog bastards. I hope one of them comes to Alaska for vacation this year. I will stomp the shit out of them( or can you stomp the shit out of shit? I feel better now.

Doctor Sinister says:    Yes you can.

 

(349) Date:      23/03/03

Name:    William

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    I think the only thing the French accomplished on their own was winning the '98 World Cup on their home turf. In 2002, they bombed in South Korea and Japan.

How do you keep Frenchmen from raping a woman? Put on a Jerry Lewis movie.

Doctor Sinister says:    They bombed the Koreans?  What the hell is this Jerry Lewis reference all about?

 

(348) Date:      23/03/03

Name:    Diane

Sex:    female

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

Doctor Sinister says:    You have just found the solution to eternal peace.  Forever.

 

(347) Date:      22/03/03

Name:    Sylvie & Pascal

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    It's by humour that we understand ourselves

Hello, I am french and had a good time to read these jokes !!  But I am a bit shocked by the lack of knoledges of history of some writers.
Some of them don't know that there were 1 300 000 french soldiers dead during WW1 !!  We honour the American & UK troops in our Caen mémorial; every french people knows it We have been invaded by german during WW2 because we were not used our money to buy guns but to pay the social evolution (healthcare free for every one ... 1936 : 2 weeks of payed holidays).

For US people : remember Lafayette and Napoleon.  

For UK people : remember the foundation of you country (12th century) (12th century?  Eh?  Erm, do you perhaps mean the 11th century?  Listen mate, just because some Viking descendants happened to invade from what is NOW known as France - it don't make 'em French - LEARN YOUR HISTORY)

The french air force in 1940 has destroyed 1300 german planes, although many of our planes were out-dated : same score as the RAF has done during the "Blitz".

I haven't jokes about English or US people, sorry, this kind of jokes have never being a way to have fun in our country : for that we have our sun and stinky cheeses !!

Regards,
Pascal

Doctor Sinister says:    Your introduction/title is incorrect.  It is by humour that we hate the French.

 

(346) Date:      22/03/03

Name:    David Needham

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    Like the (anti-) French jokes page. One small issue with "Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? A: Semper Fi (always first)"

*semper fi* is abbreviated version of "semper fidelis"-- always faithful. (root word, *fides* = faith, trust, confidence) It's easy to see how the mistranslation has crept in: no one learns Latin in school any more. Interesting that the *fides* pledge of complete obedience and trust (and trustworthiness) was a common element in marriage pledges, (voluntary) bond-servitude pledges and... military pledges during Roman times. It was also a be-lateral pledge...

"Make haste to assure us that you at home love and support us as we love and support you; for if we find that we have poured our lives into these desert sands for nothing, beware the fury of the legions." 
–A Roman Centurion writing to his senator uncle in about 400 AD

:-)

Regardless, good site.

David W Needham

The French: "...a bunch of snotty, hygiene-impaired, pseudo- intellectual, snail-slurping weenies whose sole military accomplishment in the past 100 years was inventing the tasseled combat boot."
– D. Barry

Doctor Sinister says:    Thanks to you and the two hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine-hundred and ninety-nine people who corrected this one.

 

(345) Date:      21/03/03

Name:    Anna

Sex:    female

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...people are doing some bad jokes about french people because I'm against the war in Iraq. English's government is like stupid bush's cocker, grrrrrr!!!!

Doctor Sinister says:    Cocker?  As in the Spaniel?

 

(344) Date:      21/03/03

Name:    AMERICAN BADASS MOTHERFUCKER

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    Why the FUCK would ANY  ENGLISH SPEAKING  people degrade and defile their own pure mouth by speaking that monkey-talk french slobery mongrel talk...WE DONT SPEAK TO MONKEYS....THE WHOLE WORLD IS LEARNING THE LANGUAGE OF THE SUPREME HUMANS....ENGLISH!!!!  NOT FROG-TALK!!!!!  SPEAK ENGLISH OR DIE YOU FUCKING DISEASED SUBHUMAN!!!!WE WILL CRUSH YOU WITH OUR BOMBS AND OUR FISTS!!!!!YOU CANNOT INFLUENCE US!!!!!YOU CANNOT CONTROL US!!!!!YOU ARE MEANINGLESS TO US!!!!!ALL HAIL ENGLAND!!!!!!!ALL HAIL THE GREAT LIBERATORS!!!!!!ALL KNEEL IN THE PRESENCE OF THE MIGHTY AMERICAN BRITISH SUPER MEN!!!!! CHOKE ON IT FRENCH WHORE!!!WE ARE THE WORLD......EAT IT!!!

Doctor Sinister says:    Sigh...

 

(343) Date:      21/03/03

Name:    AMERICAN BADASS

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    HOW DO YOU LIKE THE POWER WE ARE UNLEASHING ON THE SAVAGE FACTIONS!!!!! CAN YOU FEEL THE MIGHT OF THE BRITISH AND AMERICAN MUSCLE!!!!WE ARE THE BIG BAD BOYS NOW!!!!! I HOPE ALL OF FRANCE IS WATCHING IN HORROR!!!! DO YOU FRENCH WANT SOME OF THIS ACTION!!!WE WOULD NUKE YOUR FUCKING DISEASE ENCRUSTED ANCIENT ASSES BUT WE WILL ENSLAVE YOU TO SHOVEL OUR SHIT!!!I HOPE ABDULLAH PUMPS HIS DISEASED SPERM-LOAD DOWN YOUR WINE HOLE TODAY!!!...suck that arab dick chirac......why do you look so frightened and sad chirac....you are french,thats why.scared   meager   feeble   worthless impotent and little. SPINELESS FRENCH STAY OUT OF THE BEAUTIFUL EMPIRE OF AMERICA!!!YOU ARE NEXT!!!WE DONT NEED YOUR HELP!!!!WE CAN CONQUER THE WORLD WITH THE GLORIOUS UNITED KINGDOM AS OUR STEADFAST BROTHERS!!!!!  ANIMALS SENT TO THE MEAT GRINDER!!!!FRENCH SUBSPEICES TO BE BRUTALLY AND SAVAGELY DESCIMATED LIKE A CLUSTER OF INFESTING INSECTS!!!!!!!GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!!! ALL HAIL THE UNITED KINGDOM IN ALL THEIR MAGNIFICENT GLORY!!!!!SAVIORS OF THE WORLD!!!!!GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!! BOW DOWN TO OUR STARS AND STIPES!!!!!HAIL THE MIGHTY ARROW WEILDING EAGLE!!! E PLURIBUS UNUM!!!!!!!  WE    ARE    IN    CONTROL   NOW!!!!!!! HA   HA   HA   HA

Doctor Sinister says:    Please stop writing in capitals - really, I'm begging you.

 

(342) Date:      20/03/03

Name:    Erwy (short for Earwig do you think?)

Sex:    Probably never had any

Age:    I doubt it can count that high

Comment:    I suppose you speak pretty french if you dare laugh of them. (what?!?!)

THIS PORTION CENSORED AS WRITTEN IN FRENCH, BUT IT'S OK, BECAUSE I'VE ALSO HAD THE FOLLOWING TRANSLATION - WHOOPEE!

Ok, Afflicted (?) but I believe that we really do not have the same kind of humour.  (No shit!) I have laugh at better French anti jokes but I should not ask too much to somebody who possede only 2 neurons which fight in duel. (are you a Physicist or something?) I would pass the verse of the insult which is limited in your case to "fuck, shit, bullshit". Good fortunately I know American in Paris who expresses also their dissatisfaction towards their own country. (well bully for you) On this I prefer to leave you with your sillinesses, I prefer leave in a country which remains in peace rather than in a country who is caught for the hand of God (read the bible only?). (What the bloody hell does this mean?  A prize to anyone who can tell me!) We do not have really the same modesty. (You are being modest - wow, you could have fooled me) England?, sorry but this country is the place by far where I would like to live less, the free ireland is so much more attractive. (yeah, if you like donkeys) Now will translate this E mall with somebody because I doubt that your intellectual abilities enables you to understand it. (Unlike your complete inability to type you mean?) 

I'm gonna translate it for you (I'm so good with you) (You shouldn't have - no, really)

Doctor Sinister says:   When you have an IQ as high as mine, then you earn the right to insult me. Until then, you can reside in my killfile. So don't bother writing again, because it won't get through.

Also, I suggest that you take some lessons on how to structure your sentences.  When you write total gibberish as you have on this occasion, you just make yourself look utterly foolish.  Unless of course it really is your ambition to talk like Yoda from the Star Wars movies all the time, in which case you should make that clear at the start.  And one final thing, whoever you got to translate your meaningless mumblings - I suggest you punch them, very very hard.

 

(341) Date:      20/03/03

Name:    asadsdas

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I have to take a crap but cant..

Doctor Sinister says:   Hmmm...  Tricky.  What would a mathematician do in that situation?  That's right - he'd work it out with a pencil.

Sorry - old joke.

 

(340) Date:      19/03/03

Name:    Ted

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... just a minor glitch. The French won the World Cup in 1998.

Doctor Sinister says:   Yes, that's why the text is crossed out on the French page.  Followed by the word "Arse".  But it all came good in the end - they never scored a single goal in the next World Cup and went home somewhat humiliated.

 

(339) Date:      19/03/03

Name:    Joe Pfeifer

Sex:    Male

Age:    not given

Comment:    This is the best site ever made!  I love it!  I can't stop laughing!! 

Doctor Sinister says:   Why are you laughing at me?  Don't you know how powerful I am?!?!

 

(338) Date:      18/03/03

Name:    Eric

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    Yet another French joke - well, not really, since it actually happened. Come to think of it, the term "French joke" is redundant anyway. 

Some years ago, I watched a documentary on the opening of the Chunnel. (that's the Channel Tunnel to anyone who isn't familiar with the term)  A newsman was interviewing some English people on the street regarding the Chunnel.  One gentlemen in a pub said, as he pointed toward France, "I'd rather England became the 51st State than to be connected to THAT."

Doctor Sinister says:   Napoleon once tried to construct a Channel Tunnel to invade England.  We should reciprocate by turning the damned thing into a gigantic sewer and flooding Calais with shit.  Except that the French probably wouldn't notice any difference (yes I'm in a belligerent mood tonight).

 

(337) Date:      18/03/03

Name:    One Armed Bandit

Sex:    male

Age:    18 to 21

Comment:    This aint a complaint (ha ha that rhymes) well i would like to know why every every one complains all the time (wait this is a complaint then) stop complaining (got to stop using that word) so france is a dump so life is crap we already know so just shut up.  And all you americans that keep saying france sucks bla bla bla SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTHS (fucking yanks)i can't take it any more arrrrhhhhhh!

whoops sorry i get a little carried away sometimes, ever since I started taking those pils...

any way goodbye

from one patriotic Great British Bastard

Doctor Sinister says:   It's nice that you are so patriotic - but surely if you were such a "Great British Bastard" you wouldn't be so willing to shirk your DUTY as a Brit by hating the French with every fibre of your being.  Frankly, I'm afraid I don't believe you and must therefore consider you both a spy and a threat to the cause.

 

(336) Date:      18/03/03

Name:    Ryan Howard

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...the french have the cheek to try and stop war with such a maniac as Saddam Hussein when he kills his own people for fun.they haven't even give us a chance to rip Iraq to shreads......AGAIN. i think we should blow up their whole damn nation and send all these annoying teachers back as well who are always trying to teach us their crappy language.

Doctor Sinister says:   Hmmm - being an egomaniac who sometimes kills his own scientists/bodyguards/other miscellaneous people for fun, It's difficult to know how to take your E-mail.

 

(335) Date:      18/03/03

Name:    AMERICAN BADASS

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    What do you call a Frenchman that opens his mouth in my part of the country?????     DEAD       YOU FRENCH ARE THE MONGREL SWINE OF EUROPE AND THE WORLD   YOU STINK  YOUR TEETH ARE ROTTEN   YOUR WOMEN ARE SYPHILLIS RIDDEN MEAT HOLES!!!!!!  NO CULTURE IN AMEWRICA???  YOU WORSHIP OUR PRODUCTS YOU IGNORANT UNEDUCATED INBRED  ANIMAL FUCKER!!!!!I CANT WAIT UNTIL YOU ARE WIPED OUT LIKE THE SLIMY SHIT SUCKING CREATURES THAT YOU ANIMALS EAT!!!!!!!HOW DARE YOU PUT DOWN AMERICA AND ENGLAND AFTER SAVING YOUR ASS!!!!!!  THAT IS JUST LIKE THE WHORE OF A COUNTRY THAT YOU ARE!!!how does it feel to be the joke of the civilized world?????  ALL YOUR YEARS AND YEARS OF INGRATITUDE IS NOW COMING BACK ON YOUR PEOPLE HARDCORE MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!ARE THE FRENCH PAPERS TELLING YOU HOW WE ARE STOMPING ON FRENCHMANS HEADS IN THE STREET HERE??????OR ARE THEY SHOWING YOUR TRANSEXUAL PRIME MINISTER GETTING ARAB COCK STUFFED IN HIS FILTHY WINE SPEWING ASS AND HIS TOOTHLESS HERPES DOTTED COCKSUCKER????????YOU ARE A WEAK LITTLE MEANINGLESS NATION OF SOFT WEAK BITCH BOYS.         what did the french tourists have for dinner while on vacation in America??????   MY FUCKING BRASS KNUCKLES AND BOOT LEATHER MOTHERFUCKER    GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!!GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!!!  FREEMASONS  E PLURIBUS UNUM!!!!!!!

Doctor Sinister says:   A fine speech my lad - I'll let the Queen know you sent her your best regards. 

 

(334) Date:      17/03/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    This is not a joke but it does provoke one to think. If you go to the French Embassy website in Australia there is a Defence Section. What is that for?

Also true, if you try to email the French embassy in the United States your email is returned to you with a message that their disk space is full. I guess a lot of people are sending emails to the French. The French might be the first nation to surrender in an email war. 

Doctor Sinister says:   Wow, it really tells you something when even their computers have given up.

 

(333) Date:      16/03/03

Name:    Jim Lad    

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Great site, very funny, I particularly liked the stuff about the French. France is a PATHETIC excuse for a nation - filled with effeminate garlic chewing gits who would probably mass surrender to a four-year-old with a plastic water pistol - and it's a shame there isn't more anti-French sentiment on the net. Hopefully this will be corrected soon, thanks to Jacques Chirac's recent show of cowardice...

Anyway, here is a joke about the French: -

Sorry - got it already

Please keep up the good work.

Doctor Sinister says:   As I type this (19/03/03 around 20:19 here on S.INC Island), 17 Iraqi soldiers just surrendered - and not a shot has yet been fired.  Perhaps they are the true heirs of the "Cowards of the Century" award?

 

(332) Date:      16/03/03

Name:    kaz

Sex:    female

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...the French dub films!  IE Snatch... you f....m...f.... etc etc - turns into 'you bad potato'.  Thank the lord god almighty for DVDs

Doctor Sinister says:   What have the French got against potatoes?  Ah - hang on, I've got it - you need to wash them before you peel them.  And the French don't wash.

 

(331) Date:      15/03/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...i explode

Doctor Sinister says:   Does this happen often?

 

(330) Date:      15/03/03

Name:    Chloe Wallace

Sex:    female

Age:    not given

Comment:    I am an American and I applaud the anti-French jokes on your website. France is disgusting and they are soo overrated. I will boycott all French goods.  PLease continue with the jokes. 

Doctor Sinister says:   Someone's gotta do it.

 

(329) Date:      13/03/03

Name:    The Guy Who  Really Loves You, Man (steady there)

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    It's funny how you can just meet someone indirectly who both hate the French.  It makes it possible for two people who barely know earch other to sort of bond and I don't mean in that cloying way some people mean it.  I know that makes you nervous.  Hey!  It makes me nervous!  So it's cool.  It's just when you hate the French as much as I, it gives me a certain... I don't know-you validate me.  How many people can do that for each other?  That's really terrific of you.  It's lie a gift.  Thank you.  I really appreciate it.  Just someone hating the French as much as I, and there!  The world is made better!  It's like when you hate the French as I do.  I realy feel good about myself and you about yourself.  Why?  Because you validate my whole purpose of living.  To hate the French.  It's this thing you have about you.  Just a little hate against the French and-poof!-so much is made better.  You know what it is?  It's empowering!  You are one very, very special French hater.  I'm not gay or anything, but I love you for everybody else hate the French too.  If I have sons, I hopw they all turn out just like you.  Thank you-and I mean thank you-for hating the French as much as I.

Doctor Sinister says:   Mummy, I'm scared.

 

(328) Date:      13/03/03

Name:    Lyle

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    KUDOS TO YOU BRITS!

I stumbled onto this site while looking for meaningful insight! Terrific, in any sense. I will admit that you're view of french is hilarious!

Please tell me if it is true that french women braid their armpits? I am, definitely, in a quandary............  After viewing you site, i am pleased to see you are on my side!.......lol

Just a Yank
Lyle 

Doctor Sinister says:   Actually, I'm on no-one's side but my own.  If that happens to coincide with other interests, that's just lucky for them.

 

(327) Date:      13/03/03

Name:    Andy

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    Brother

So you want a laugh A.  Not a joke but a damn funny website.  His name is Andy Milkonis, and his age is somewhere around 15.  He has this ingenious website called, www.fatangrypat.com.  When you get there make sure to check out "The Super Bowl Is GAY", it's a hoot.  I don't think the Super Bowl is gay.  I'm actualy the biggest football fan in all the land.  It's inmature comedy, yet it's still damn funny.  Check it out Brother sinister.

Doctor Sinister says:   And exactly how does this relate to my domination of the world?

 

(326) Date:      13/03/03

Name:    emily

Sex:    female

Age:    18 to 21

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... the dots on my paper turn out clear

Doctor Sinister says:   Are you taking a pregnancy test?

 

(325) Date:      12/03/03

Name:    Nick Page

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    I like very much your page. Keep on the good work. 

Doctor Sinister says:   I will.

 

(324) Date:      12/03/03

Name:    lang

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when foreigners come to our country and get all of our damned welfare money and STILL complain about equal rights...

Doctor Sinister says:   Seems to me they get MORE than their fair-share.  Positive discrimination is what it's called and it sucks.

 

(323) Date:     09/03/03 

Name:    Jim

Sex:    male

Age:    Just old enough to remember D-Day

Comment:    First I would like to say that I am not a racist. I understand that it is simply ignorant to think that distinctive racial characteristics can be identified within the human species. On the other hand I hope that I never have to rely on my French Terrier for protection if I am attacked by a German Shepherd. Moving on to the very large subject of French treachery, there is a common misconception that the French created the Statue of Liberty as a gift to America. The depressing truth, which can be verified at any public library, is that the French created the monument with the intention of parking it at the entrance to the Suez Canal. Unfortunately, by the time it was finished the Egyptians had evolved culturally to the point that they had acquired good taste, and they refused to accept it. The French solved the problem by sending it to America. Another common misconception concerning the French concerns the philosopher and mathematician Renee Decartres, who although brilliant was also quite lazy. He was so lazy in fact that he joined the French army in order that he could lie in bed most of the day thinking and looking at the ceiling. (This activity, if it can be called that, led to his discovery of Cartesian geometry.) The common misconception is that he began his rationalist philosophy with the insight "I think therefore I am." The truth, again rather depressing, which is uniformly confirmed by his living descendants (none of whom bear his surname, which is not surprising, considering his ethical philosophy), is that the initial insight was "I think therefore I am. I think."

Doctor Sinister says:   I understand.  I think.

 

(322) Date:      08/03/03

Name:    cptntrips

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    The new French Flag.. Sorry it's not centered, but they don't deserve more than 2 minutes work.

Doctor Sinister says:   Heh heh heh, nice one.  Thought about centring the text myself - but what's the point?

 

(321) Date:      07/03/03

Name:    H Harris

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    chief you got some funny crap on your page, but some of the unoriginal bastards are mixing up jokes and putting frenchman into them.....ie the kick his sisters jaw.....thats a redneck joke.....the tank one is a polish joke 

Doctor Sinister says:   Yeah, I figured the material was being altered, but I only upload what I'm sent.

 

(320) Date:      06/03/03

Name:    John Wood

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    Sinister plot.  Is your "webmaster" promoting World Blindness? How can any web developer with a gram of brain matter use dark red and dark blue text on a black background?  Haven't you noticed that it is NOT READABLE???  Now I cannot find my white cane, tin cup, and dark glasses!

Doctor Sinister says:   OK, now I'm suspecting a conspiracy.

1)    Demonstrably - this IS legible or you wouldn't have found how to write to me.

2)    Please refer to my previous reply to "Ricardo".

3)    I'm not a "web developer" - I'm a fucking Supervillain.

4)    Of nearly 30,000 hits to my site, yours is only the second complaint I've ever received.  If French people can read this, then anyone should be able to.

5)    Be careful or I'll reactivate the mind-control background and you will become my slave.

 

(319) Date:      06/03/03

Name:    Ricardo

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    Going blind.  Hey, I really like your humor... BUT THAT BLACK BACKGROUND MAKES THE COPY YOU SPEND SO MUCH TIME TYPING PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO READ!!   Are you crazy, or do you just not bother to read your own stuff?  

Doctor Sinister says:   Sorry, but it's meant to be an evil place - you know what I mean? Yours is the first complaint I've had of this nature. Perhaps you could suggest an alternative?

If I could find a decent web designer who would work for (cheap) biscuits, I'd do something about it, but until then, it's not likely to be changed, sorry.

 

(318) Date:      04/03/03

Name:    Geronimo

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    I fuck you in the ass, damn americans. you're insulting the French with the same intolerance you slaughtered the Indians and you fucked the Blacks.  Goodbye cow-boy.

Doctor Sinister says:   Sigh...

For the three-millionth time, I am not American.

Goodbye moron.

 

(317) Date:   03/03/03   

Name:    Mr. Ergo

Sex:    male

Age:    18 to 21

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...  my neighbors' dog takes a shit in my backyard.  I could take a floor lamp to the bastard

Doctor Sinister says:   Harsh, but probably fair.

 

(316) Date:      01/03/03

Name:    Peter

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    I'm sure you have your hands full at the moment.  Probably taking a break as needed.  There is no need to show this on your page, just want to tell you that your site is amazingly brilliant.  Your an obvious intellectual and have a great tallent at showing your personality through your words.  I hope you make money off this site, maybe get some advertising.  I will make sure to put your site in Maxim magazine for one to watch.  If you want to kill some time, check out this brutaly funny site: www.newgrounds.com
Keep writing and make money your way.  And get a sponsorship. 

Doctor Sinister says:   I make money by laundering it through the EU and by criminal extortion and the international sale of coffee and baked beans.  

 

(315) Date:      01/03/03

Name:    specter

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    a yank was telling his bddy about fishing in fance. not too much fun realy,they dont put up a fight at all,but they are easy to clean,they have no guts or spine

Doctor Sinister says:   But who'd want to eat one?

 

(314) Date:      01/03/03

Name:    ibanez

Sex:    moron

Age:    not given

Comment:    You are an good exemple of the american stupidity!!!

Doctor Sinister says:   And you are an example of a complete fuckwit.

I AM NOT AMERICAN.

I have lost count of the number of times I have pointed this out on my website.

I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.  I AM NOT AMERICAN.

etc.

Goodbye.

Don't bother replying, it won't get through.

 

(313) Date:      01/03/03

Name:    Paul Korduner

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    First of all-there is a word for "bath" in the French language. It's "BAIN". Why don't you idiots look into things before you go and poke fun. And second of all, why do you go and act prejudice towards the French just because they don't believe in this stupid war? If everyone thought Bush was bad and told you to help kill him, would you? Of course you wouldn't, because you wouldn't believe it! So all I have to say to you and your website is-"CENSORED" And just for your information-I'm American!

Doctor Sinister says:   Oh look, yet another American who does not understand irony.  Bloody hell - who would have thought it.

 

(312) Date:      01/03/03

Name:    SEER

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    I get so mad when I have to say the man up stairs name in vain.  I get really pist when I hear people saying that this is the end of the world.

Because it's not even close until Doctor Sinister takes over.  Plus the LDS church (A.K.A. Mormoms)have said it's not even that close.  When they build their temple in NEW JERUSALEM in Indepence Missouri.  Then they say you should start to worry.  Maybe the world is comming to a close, then again who cares.

Doctor Sinister says:  The end of the world happens when I press this button that's next to me...hang on...where's it gone?

 

(311) Date:      28/02/03

Name:    Michael

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    im not writing to complain i actually enjoy your site. I wrote "mike from hooters" because my names mike (im an american) and i work at hooters, i figure you have a lot of guys named mike write in but few that work at hooters so maybe you'll know who i am if i write again. i originally looked at your site for the french jokes to show a teacher of mine (not a french teacher) and when i got home i looked again and got your site. there were a lot of comment about the war and i would like to say that i appreciate Tony Blair actually sticking with the US. I had never heard of Blair before all of this terrorist stuff happened. im not sure about what most of the people in Britain think of the US going to war but over here its almost 50/50. personally i think that we should, not based on what happened on sep. 11 i know that we had that coming but more of because of the threat not only to the US but many other countries closer to Iraq. personally i dont think that we need support from other countries but it cant hurt. i feel that the non-compliance of Saddam from the gulf war should be enough not even to listen to him when he says no UN inspectors but unfortunalty the world doesnt work like i think it should. I looked at one email on your guestlist and it said Oil was the major reason that we are trying to go to war and if it is then i am all for it seeing as i drive a 1972 Cadillac i only get about 10 miles to the gallon. i heard somewhere that your gas prices are very high in Britain, here in North Carolina they are not quite at $2 for Premium which is what i use. anyhow i must be getting to work now.

Doctor Sinister says:   Petrol prices in the UK are somewhat criminal given the fact that it's an oil-producing country!!

 

(310) Date:      28/02/03

Name:    Michael

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    I work at a Hooters resturaunt and it amazes me how stupid most of the girls are. I once handed a girl a zippo when she asked for a lighter, she then asked me how it worked. The basic lacking of common sense in this day and age is so agervating that sometimes I would like to shoot a lot of people, being a rational human being I would never do this but its the thought that counts right. Anyways I just found this site looking up French jokes for no apparent reason and its pretty good, although I had seen some of the jokes on a different site I cant blame you for that.

Doctor Sinister says:   I only post the ones I'm sent.

 

(309) Date:      28/02/03

Name:    Tudor Hulubei

Sex:    male

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    In a last moment attempt at securing Germany's support in the upcoming war against Iraq, the US offered to give them France back (the Germans claim that France has been forcefully and unjustly taken away from them at the end of the Second World War). When the French got wind of the deal, the Americans promise them so much food aid that they won't have to work for the rest of their lives! This confused the shit out of the anti-war French people, but eventually they bought into it and now the French are running around, spraying this and scrubbing that so that when the Germans come they won't be put off by the smell and leave!

Doctor Sinister says:   That will take them some time.

 

(308) Date:      28/02/03

Name:    J.C.

Sex:    male

Age:    40

Comment:    Dear Dr.S,

One of my Welsh (!) Colleagues in Toronto sent me your page, and it has been a great laugh..love the jokes. Maybe you heard over here a guy in Florida is calling for a boycott of French Fries and Toast, to draw attention to a certain country.

I have one Canadian joke to contribute,

Did you hear that Canada has pledged their full military resources to a war in Iraq?

There's just one hitch.

We have to wait until he gets his uniform back from the cleaners!

Well, for what it is worth, this Septic would like to take the opprtunity to personally thank all the people of Great Britain(don't know where the Irish are in this) that have stood by us, regardless if GWB is thick as a brick, and unfortunately, he is.

But, he is our brick. We have an expression over here, that you "Don't throw someone under the bus", that is, turn your back on them, or betray them in some manner. Which brings me to the English, and the French.

If you have a best friend(the US), and he fucks up and does thing stupid(BUSH), like piss off some acquaintances with bold talk, do you "throw him under the bus", or take him out for a pint, and talk over the good times you both have had, and see how you two can sort the whole mess out. The people of the UK should know when Tony Blair comes to the states, he will be treated like royalty. The man has balls to stand by his convictions and stand up for his friends. 

20 years from now, my neighbors and I will not forget this act of England's courage, nor the acts of a cowardly, gutless, thankless, wine swilling, cheese eating, poodle clipping, chicken shit nation of surrender monkeys.

Doctor Sinister says:   Hmmm - mixed feelings about this post because Tony Blair is actually an asshole.

 

(307) Date:      27/02/03

Name:    frog the dog

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...an obviously intelligent and discerning person such as yr good self refers to chiuauawiuauaiwuaiuas as DOGS. such creatures are fit only to be the carpet slippers of frenchmen. need i say more?
....when i press the "reset" button instead of "submit query" button.gggrrrr

Doctor Sinister says:   Sorry, my mistake.  Except for that last bit. Obviously.

 

(306) Date:      26/02/03

Name:    Frog Hater

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    We thought you might be interested in our Anti-French site...  http://www.thefrenchsuck.US

Doctor Sinister says:   I hereby give permission for S.INC citizens to visit this site.

 

(305) Date:      26/02/03

Name:    Gabber

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    NEWS FLASH PARIS Car backfires French Goverment SURENDERS!!!!!!!

Doctor Sinister says:   I hear that the French Parliament regularly gets awards for the speediness of their fire evacuation drill - but no-one knows why the Ministers all line up in the car park with their hands on their heads.

 

(304) Date:      25/02/03

Name:    Peter

Sex:    male

Age:    25 to 30

Comment:    I was wondering if you know the suffix for the French web pages.  WWW.cowards.suffix?  Reason why I inquire of your service is so I can flood them with harassing emails.  How will they understand me?  Well, I found a website that translates english into french.  The web address is www.freetranslation.com  I suggest all you loyal French haters do the same.

Doctor Sinister says:   Pay attention all.

 

(303) Date:      24/02/03

Name:    Gabber

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    Jacques Chirac announced today to show support for his friend Saadam Insane he is changing his name to Jacques ChIRAQ

Doctor Sinister says:   Can you believe that Chirac has apparently been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize? Jeez...

 

(302) Date:      24/02/03

Name:    Paul

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    France is crap but I know a country full of putrid schools, dirt poor hospitals where people die in public transports and terrorists are granted asylum while living on taxpayers' money. I really pity that country.

Doctor Sinister says:   Yeah, I'd hate to live THERE.

 

(301) Date:      24/02/03

Name:    Anthony

Sex:    Female (eh?)

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I shit myself

Doctor Sinister says:   Well stop doing it then.

 

(300) Date:      23/02/03

Name:    Eric & Katrina Re

Sex:    male & female

Age:    not given

Comment:   The most frightening thought that my mind can construe up, is the thought of the French having nuclear weapons. Those perfumed, wine-guzzling cowards have been building a nuclear arsenal for about 40 years now. Testing their weapons near the Mururoa Atoll in the South Pacific. Not surprisingly France and nuclear weapons have mixed about as well as Sid and Nancy. I don't know if you remember back in 1985, the Frenchies finally found an opponent they could beat when their inspector gadget secret agents blew up the Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior, docked in a New Zealand harbor during please note, a NON-VIOLENT anti-nuclear protest, killing ten. Then in 1995, three years after the end of an international moratorium on nuclear testing, they started blowing up islands again!  Then again, French nukes are nothing to worry about, countries never launch ballistic missiles of any kind during unconditional surrenders.

Doctor Sinister says:   I expect they would use their nukes as an extra bargaining chip when surrendering.

 

(299) Date:      22/02/03

Name:    Curtis Smith

Sex:    male

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... i poop myself and I'm only 50 imagine when i get 70

Doctor Sinister says:   You think you've got problems.  My daughter poops herself and she is only 4.5 months old.  What kind of sorry life is SHE going to lead?

 

(298) Date:      22/02/03

Name:    Bimmy the Wise

Sex:    female

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:   Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...my mother in law says she doesnt like fairies!!! what kind of person is SHE!!!

Doctor Sinister says:   Fairies do exist.  We have successfully used them as offensive weapons.  With explosives strapped to their bodies, they make excellent suicide pilots.

 

(297) Date:      

Name:    Obi-Sven-Kenobi

Sex:    female

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    

Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...that bloody dog gets all the attention for those soppy stories she writes....

Doctor Sinister says:   Hang on - are you trying to tell me that a dog is writing stories?  Well, if that doesn't deserve a bit of attention, I don't know what does (!).

 

(296) Date:      22/02/03

Name:    frog the dog

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...the cat sits on the table and I am not allowed to..

when the cat brings in dead things that the humans tread on with their bare feet, then they blame ME for not alerting them!!!

when motorbike riders and skateboarders never let me have a go!!!

when Alsations call me "Pampas Grass Arse!" ... it's a fine tail!

when I get told to get off the computer!! ggggggrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!

Doctor Sinister says:   Being a dog can be very trying sometimes.  Just ask any Chihuahua.

 

(295) Date:      22/02/03

Name:    Claire

Sex:    female

Age:    not given

Comment:    Hi!
I'm not anti american, anti english, anti anything, but do you really think american leadership and protectionism is right?  Don't you think Blair turned himself ridiculous with his student work ?  America would fight any country who act the way they're acting now, wouldn't they?

Anti french jokes ! I wouldn't say a word about that.  French people have known war on his own territory, and regarding to this, september 11th was nothing (millions of dead in France and Europe, american also, we don't forget, but don't mix everything) In Europe, even England, cities were totally destroyed, not only 2 towers.  How other european countries who have known war in their own home, can 
pretend beeing for the war!  War far from home is not the same for a population who watch his soldiers go, and goes back home keeping watching them on TV, comfortably installed in armchair!!!

It's easy to bomb camels in the desert, with "surgery weapons", satellites, etc... Did satellites see Mollah Homar go away with his 
motorbike?

Anyway, why maintaining anger between people, countries, we must try to understand each other instead of fighting (and i'm not hippy)

I'm 28, I'm french, and I don't want children of any country fight each other, we all are human, black, white or other. We have 1 life, 1 
earth, we are 1 people, all citizen of the world.

Don't we say to deads "Rest in Peace"? I find this ironic sometime....

Claire

Doctor Sinister says:   As a general rule, I try not to talk to dead people - the conversations are so one-sided.

 

(294) Date:      22/02/03

Name:    Gregory Heinrich

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    Well I guess it's very bad time for French people at the moment. I'm French so I feel concerned.  I don't know much about politics but things just bug me off at the moment. There seems to be a very developed anti-French spirit in the world. I just typed "anti French" on google and got your homepage. I know I should take it with humour (I actually laughed at some of the jokes) but I can't understand people. The average American person thinks all French people are bastards because they want to give peace a chance.

This is the feeling I have. They're trying to make us feel guilty because we don't want a war. I mean it should work the other way around! I didn't get any Anti American jokes when I typed "blagues anti-américaines" on google (one might argue that we don't have the Internet in the "old Europe").  It reminds me of when I was speaking with some anarchists the other day. They were anti-American. And they were saying that September 11th was justified after all. They said the US had spoilt more people's lives than Al Kaeda. They actually tried to make me feel guilty for saying that killing is never justified. Do you see what I mean? You're trying to be tolerant and people blame you for that.I'm not saying that French people know things better than other people. The US surely know more about Irak than France. But it's good to give public proof of one's guilt before attacking isn't it?  Now Americans want to boycott French products. Lucky us, they think we only have cheese and wine. It is not because we don't agree on something that we are anti-American. And it is not because we are anti-American that we don't agree on Irak.  I know this is not what all Americans think. I'm sure a lot of them are either tolerant or in agreement with us. It's just that we mainly see the other ones in the media.  Of course we're gonna win this war. Of course it's gonna be very easy. I think the most probable reasons for casualties on our side is a plane crashing on its own or a tank not seeing a pedestrian on the way. But what are we gonna win? What have we won in Afghanistan? Bin Laden's ghost is alive. Al Kaeda has committed other terrorist attacks. And why not attack North Korea and Pakistan? It is acknowledged that the US have known for years that they have nuclear missiles. I can't help thinking that the main difference between Irak and N.Korea or Pakistan is: oil.  And what's so wrong about inviting Mugabe in France? Okay, maybe it's bad. But maybe it's good! If you isolate people, you can't talk to them. It's the reason why I think hosting the olympics in Beijing is good for China. It doesn't mean that you answer for their human rights abuse. You give them the opportunity to open up a bit.  Not to mention Poland and Romania. They're not yet in the EU and they start making a mess. And why did 
they buy US planes instead of European planes :-)

I know your page is supposed to be funny. I usually enjoy English humour very much. English people are very funny. You're not. Your page really lacks subtelty. Are you sure you're English? You're just rough. Not funny.  "How many German and French people died during WW2? Not enough". Do you find it very funny? Just replace "French and German" with "Jewish" and you'll be sued.

Doctor Sinister says:   OK, let me make this perfectly clear.  This is not an anti-French website.  If you take a look around you will see that the anti-French portion only occupies about 5% of the entire site.  This site is about ME taking over the WORLD.

I'm not even going to respond to your last comment, it's beneath me.

 

(293) Date:      22/02/03

Name:    Chris

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    u r the coolest person i have ever met. im getting a french flag and burning it on my front yard u rock ur biggest fan,
chris 

Doctor Sinister says:   When did we meet?

 

(292) Date:      21/02/03

Name:    Dee

Sex:    male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    Mark Twain's famous 1879 quote, "There is nothing lower than the human race except the French" still hold true today.

Doctor Sinister says:   He was a bit of a one for quotations wasn't he?

 

(291) Date:      21/02/03

Name:    Sundance

Sex:    male

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    umm... buckwheat was a charecter on an american tv show. he was a little black kid with a really huge afro :)

Doctor Sinister says:    Thanks for clearing that up for me.

 

(290) Date:      21/02/03

Name:    Peter

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    Man, the two super powers of the world are getting ready for the title fight, Round 2. Our best and most loyal ally GREAT Britain, will be with us when we trodden over Iraq and hopefully North Korea. Enough about politics, I myself am an American, and to tell you, not like you care, but the U.S. of A. loves you guys. Your pretty popular over here. But forget about all that. You know and I know that the super powers of the world are the USA and GREAT Britain. We may have roughed it up a a few times. Yet, who's counting? I am a Freemason of the New Order, and if you new the connections with our brothers in the UK you would be amazed at who's running the big show. Our brothers in the Uk will rule this world with the USA when we become unified under one house. It will take the Mighty revolution, but we are certain that the unification can happen within the next fifty years. I must say, your site is obviously privately owned. And a swell site it is. Go HTML and get going. If you want to join the brotherhood call Peter Re', priest of the trilateral commission.

Doctor Sinister says:   Why do secret organisations always feel that I would want to join them when I'm already running my own secret organisation?

 

(289) Date:      21/02/03

Name:    Peter    

Sex:    take a guess

Age:    not given

Comment:    The official Magazine of the French Military, here's the layout.

SOLDIER OF UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER

WHITE FLAGS:
New technology that
could save your life!

FITNESS:
3 Great exercises
to help you keep your 
arms up longer!

FASHION:
You don't have to give up
looking great! Hair care tips
for the battlefield.

OUR BIGGEST ARMS REVIEW EVER:
See what guns survived our grueling
drop test gauntlet!

______________________________________________________________

The Uk and the USA rule the world, that's why we won both world wars.
Get ready Iraq, and you too, North Korea!

Doctor Sinister says:   As long as you don't come after me when you're done.  Remember - I'm the real architect behind this whole thing!

 

(288) Date:      20/02/03

Name:    Suz

Sex:    female

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I see French anti-war, anti-US protestors marching on the same soil where American and British soldiers spilled blood in the struggle to free France from German oppression.

But here's a Joke about it anyway: "Why should the French help us free Iraq from Saddam Hussein, when they didn't even help us free France from Germany?"

Doctor Sinister says:   I think I've already got that one...

 

(287) Date:      20/02/03

Name:    Torin

Sex:    male

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when i was listeing to the radio  when a report came on that those fucking french were pissing on the graves of the great american soldiers that died at d-day that is really upsetting the french deserve to DIE

Doctor Sinister says:   I've been to pay my respects to the graveyards in Normandy.  I know they are permanently staffed.  Are you sure this is a true story?

 

(286) Date:      20/02/03

Name:    Manuel Gerbaud

Sex:    not given (Male?  I have such problems with French names...)

Age:    not given

Comment:    Bloody piece of wank

American people have no history….. (God, here we go again - HELLO - I'm not American!)

It's a nation of baby, (Eh?) no litterature, (That's literature for anyone else reading) no education, fucking food, and poor fucker ! (Fascinating stuff, this)

What stay in your life ? Good ? Lol (Now this is just meaningless)

Go to haven, french people prefer hell,….. with fiesta, girl, and fun !!!!! (Fiesta?  What, driving around in little Ford Motor Cars?)

I hope never See you red neck of montana ! (Well, you won't. I don't have a red neck and I've never been to Montana)

Oops, just a precision (Prediction?) …..russian pepole (20 millions of victims…..usa….just…..138 000…..lol ) save europa during the WW2, you just arrive when the fight will be over, bastard !  (Erm, seeing as this happened over 50 years ago, in what way is this a "prediction"?)

Oops, you know…….you was ridiculud in Viet-nam lol (No, I wasn't, I've never been there - and, oh yes, I'm not American.  Did I mention that?)

……and sorry for my poor english but you can show me your practice of french…….  

Doctor Sinister says:   So, the Americans arrived when the war was nearly over?  As opposed to the French who gave up RIGHT AT THE START.

And of course, the French were NEVER ridiculed in Vietnam themselves, were they?

As for me showing you my French - why the hell should I?  I make no pretence to talk the damned language and I have no need.

22/02/03 - Received the following reply in response to my assertion that I am not American:

really !

I'm sorry, it was a reaction against the racism of this site.

For me all the people are the same : human.......the difference is the mind and when i read a stupid attack against a etnic group i over reactied.

Where u come from if you are not american ?

See you....

Doctor Sinister says:    OK - so on the one hand you state that all human beings are effectively equal, yet you were quite happy to become a racist yourself in your E-mail to me?  Hypocrisy - what's that?

 

(285) Date:      20/02/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    Hey did you hear about the new veterans day ritual? Americans go to Normandy and lay a wreath at the tomb of the ungrateful Frenchman.  I also made shirts that are going like crazy- First Iraq- Then France! 

Doctor Sinister says:   Sorry, got nothing to say, too worn out after writing that stuff in response to the last guy.

 

(284) Date:      20/02/03

Name:    Stef

Sex:    male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    hi !

I'm french and I was reading some of the anti-french jokes you put on your site. Most of them are really funny (better to laught about that than crying ...)

It's just a shame to find jokes like that :
Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II????
A: Not Enough.

You can joke about surrendering or common anti-french stuff, but kidding about million of died people is not really funny ...

stef

Doctor Sinister says:   OK, I admit it was a cheap gag - but all the same, you really need to WAKE UP!!!

Reality corner - No, despite the fact that I'm an evil Supervillain who wants to take over the world, it's not funny to joke about millions of people dying.  But hey - before throwing down their arms to the Nazis in 1940, perhaps the French should have thought about the millions of people who would die as a consequence?

Has it not occurred to you that if your countrymen had fought with a bit of honour during the Second World War, Hitler and the Nazis would not have found it so easy to run rampant across Europe and exterminate millions of innocent civilians?  

Has it not occurred to you, that if the French had not surrendered at the first sign of a threat to their beloved capital, the Germans would not have been able to consolidate their hold on the entire continent and turn their sights onto Russia, where the catastrophic death toll completely outweighed the death toll of any other battlefield during the entire war?

Has it not occurred to you that if your countrymen had not given up their land as soon as the going got a "leetle beet" tough, other nations would not have had to sacrifice their brave young soldiers to liberate your country?

Before anyone suggests to me that no-one could have known that Hitler would invade the USSR - he predicted it himself right there in his book.

You say it's "OK" to joke about the French surrendering.  You're damn right it's "OK" - you know why?  BECAUSE WE'VE EARNED THAT RIGHT.  We earned that right when we had to come and save you from the Nazis in 1944.

When we joke about the French tendency to surrender, it's really out of exasperation, because unlike the UK, USA and most other civilised countries, the French nation has proved time and time again that it is only looking out for itself - and damn everyone else.  The French have no regard for any other nation on the entire planet, that's why they surrender so easily - and screw anyone else who might have to come and die to save them.  If a vote was taken in the United Nations tomorrow to just wall your country off and forget about the lot of you, I bet it would be passed pretty much unanimously.

OK, so it might be a bit close to the knuckle for me to show a posting of the joke to which you refer. But the fact remains that people suffered because your nation surrendered in 1940.  Did you know, that in early 1940, the French (and I appreciate that people might find this difficult to believe) had one of THE MOST ADVANCED and one of THE MOST MECHANIZED armies in Europe, if not the world?  Did you know, that French forces heavily outnumbered German forces - particularly in terms of armour?  On paper, the French should have wiped the floor with the Germans - but the difference was in TACTICS, and the guts to see the job through to the end.  French tanks were employed as infantry support.  German Panzers were used in large armoured spearheads to thrust through enemy lines and cause mayhem.

In 1939, a British Expeditionary Force was landed in Europe to try and avert a Nazi conquest of Europe.  Yeah, the British got their arses kicked too in 1940, trying to defend France and the Low Countries.  The British lost all of their modern equipment, an entire mechanized army brought to its knees and evacuated to Britain in little tiny fishing boats.  Faced with a powerful enemy many times stronger than they were, what did the British do?  They CARRIED ON FIGHTING.  Something the French should learn how to do.  You guys just gave up because you are defeatist by nature.  The British carried on resisting, rebuilt their forces, landed troops in North Africa to harass the Germans, and eventually, in 1944, with Americans and Canadians, retook your pathetic country for you, as you weren't up to the job yourselves.

If the French had resisted as did the British, millions of people wouldn't necessarily have died - and that's not a joke.  Before you complain about "obscene" jokes, think about what's really "obscene" with your nation's attitude to the rest of the world.  Just think about it.

 

(283) Date:      19/02/03

Name:    Sundance

Sex:    male

Age:    30 to 40

Comment:    To the little French prick that said he had sex with my wife while I work my dead end job... that wasnt my wife, it was my pet potbellied pig. But beings how that is a step up from those smelly, hairy troglodite females of your pathetic no account excuse for a country. Ya know why I hate french women? Because they look like they have buckwheat in a headlock

Doctor Sinister says:   Not sure what "buckwheat in a headlock" means, but it doesn't sound very nice so I guess it must be a pretty cool insult.  Way to go.

 

(282) Date:      19/02/03

Name:    John Lepley   

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French?", but rather "How long until France surrenders?"

Doctor Sinister says:   The French have their own nuclear weapons.  I think it's so they've got something to bargain with if they are invaded.  They can sell them at a cut-price rate to whoever has just walked in.

 

(281) Date:      18/02/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given

Age:    Old as the hills

Comment:    One thing abput the French, they are always there when they need us!

Doctor Sinister says:    Well said.

    

(280) Date:      18/02/03

Name:    Colleen Dignam

Sex:    female

Age:    not given    

Comment:    Somebody needs to tell that nitwit that "Gaelic rage" would refer to Irish people, not french. That should be corrected. We are insulting the french not the Irish! 

Doctor Sinister says:    Agreed, although I think just about everybody has had an insult in the Guestbook by now.

 

(279) Date:      18/02/03

Name:    vote-libertarian

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    Not necessarily a joke, but ...... just an interesting observation.

In gay circles, "French" is code for male-on-male fellatio.

Doctor Sinister says:    Kind of says it all really.

 

(278) Date:      18/02/03

Name:    Wadesrus

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    hope you can post the image attached.

HERE ... LET'S TRY A LITTLE GOOGLE SEARCH!

 

Doctor Sinister says:    I'm just sitting here having a great time!

 

(277) Date:      18/02/03

Name:    Frank Mills Sr.    

Sex:    male

Age:    not given

Comment:    In retaliation for all those French jokes, they are going to close Euro Disney and change the name to "Euro DeGaulle, home of Mickey Frog!" To honor their own recent political performance, they'll doubtlessly keep Goofy unchanged.

Doctor Sinister says:    Will it have Panzer rides?    

 

(276) Date:      17/02/03

Name:    bigjim

Sex:  male

Age:     Old as the hills

Comment:    I have recently become cognizant of an Anti-French joke to which I wish to call your attention, in the interest of twitting the Gallic proboscis:

Question:  When was the last time a French Army won a significant battle?

Answer:  1812.

Comment:  This isn't actually a joke, but a historical fact - if one considers the Battle of Borodino during the Napoleonic Wars to be a French victory, which is debatable among military historians.  The joke is sitting on the UN Security Council.

Doctor Sinister says:    I'm not familiar with French battles - I mean, what's the point?  They all end up with the same result.

   

(275) Date:      17/02/03

Name:    Benoit Jacob

Sex:    not given

Age:    not given

Comment:    Hello Andrew, (who he?)

Would you like me to be dead ?

(as seen on your webpage :
Q: How many German and Frenchmen died in World War II????
A: Not Enough.)

With Best Regards,
Benoit Jacob

Doctor Sinister says:    Eh?

 

(274) Date:    17/02/03      

Name:    Houston (not...Whitney?)

Sex:  female

Age:    Old as the hills     

Comment:    Don't know why the US should be upset that France doesn't want to help in getting Hussein out of Iraq.  They didn't help get Hitler out of France!

Doctor Sinister says:    Heh heh heh.  That made me chuckle.

 

(273) Date:    17/02/03      

Name:    Edward W. Piling <epilling@beld.net>

Sex:  male

Age:     not given

Comment:    State Dept. 'Warning' on France

Mike Thompson

Monday, Feb. 17, 2003

Just for laughs, from Mike Thompson, a sneek peek at the State

Department's latest assessment of travel to the Republic of France: Because France plans to veto a UN Security Council Resolution aimed at liberating Iraq, the following advisory for American travelers heading for France has been issued. It was compiled by the U.S. Department of State from information provided by the CIA, U.S. Chamber of Commerce, Lady Margaret Thatcher, the FBI, Food Channel, Centers for Disease Control, Fox News, and very expensive spy satellites the French don't even know about. This guide contains insensitive information 

For Your Eyes Only.

OVERVIEW: France is a medium-sized foreign country situated on the continent of Europe. It is an important member of the world community, though not nearly as important as it thinks. It is bounded by Germany, Spain, Switzerland and several

smaller "nations" of no particular consequence and inferior shopping. France is an old country with many treasures, such as the Louvre and EuroDisney. Among its contributions to western civilization: Camembert cheese, champagne, truffles, and the guillotine.

France postures as a modern, cutting-edge nation; in reality, air-conditioning is rare, personal under-arm deodorants are unheard of, and decent Mexican food cannot be found. Exasperating for typically respectful American visitors is the fact that the French people stubbornly still speak only French, although many will use passable English if threatened physically. As in any foreign country, watch your change at all times.

PEOPLE: France has 54 million French persons, most of whom drink and smoke heavily, drive helter-skelter, are dangerously oversexed, and have no concept of standing patiently in line. The French are gloomy, temperamental, proud, arrogant, loof, and undisciplined--and those are their good points. Most French profess to be Roman Catholic, an amusing anomaly if one considers their behavior. Many also are Communists. Topless sunbathing is common among the numerous flat-chested women. Men, even if not wearing thongs in public, often have girls' names like Yves and Marie, and ardently will kiss each other when handing out medals.

American visitors should travel in groups and wear baseball caps and colorful trousers for easier mutual recognition.

SAFETY: France usually is safe to visit, although travelers are Advised that periodically it is invaded by Germany. By tradition, the French surrender promptly and, other than a temporary shortage of Scotch and increased difficulty in obtaining baseball scores and stock-market prices, life for visitors generally goes on as if nothing has occurred. A tunnel under the English Channel connecting France and Britain has been opened in recent years to make it easier for the entire government to flee to London.

HISTORY: France was discovered by Charlemagne in the Dark Ages (before there was even a Texas or United States). Other important historic figures are Louis XIV (pronounced "14th"), born-again Huguenots, Joan of Arc, Jacques Cousteau, and Charles de Gaulle, who was president for many years and is now an airport.

GOVERNMENT: The French form of government is wildly democratic. Elections are conducted continuously, and invariably result in a runoff. For administrative efficiency, the nation is subdivided into regions, departments, districts, municipalities, cantons, zip codes, communes, villages, cafes, booths, and floor tiles.

Parliament has two chambers, Upper and Lower (inexplicably, both are On the ground floor), whose members are either Gaullists or Communists, Neither of whom can be trusted. Parliament's only roles are 1) to set off atomic bombs in the South Pacific, then 2) be indignant when anyone complains. 

U.S. intelligence indicates the current president answers to "Jacques" (his "s" is silent).

CULTURE: The French pride themselves on their culture, though it is difficult to understand why. All their songs sound the same, their dancing is violent, and their movies are worthless except for the nude scenes, provided you like to watch effeminate men and ambivalent women chain-smoking on a garish bed. Gallic architecture is pure copycat, and all poems and novels are inexplicably in French.

CUISINE: No matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is still a slug with a shell on its back. Croissants, though, are excellent, but nearly impossible for Americans to pronounce. Travelers should stick to the well-done cheeseburgers and so-called "French" fries at leading hotels such as Holiday Inn. As to drinking water, France bottles dirty melted snow under the label of Evian and sells it to Americans for the same price as high-octane gas. "Evian" spelled backwards is "naive."

ECONOMY: France has a large and diversified economy, second in Europe Only to Germany's. This is surprising because French people hardly ever work. If not spending four hours dawdling over lunch, they are on strike and blocking roads with their trucks and tractors. France's principal exports, in ascending order of importance to its pro-peace economy, are geese, attack aircraft, perfume, guided missiles, pornography, high-tech guns, wine, grenade launchers, ugly Citroen cars, land mines, lace, combat knives, cheese, nuclear weapons, condoms, and 139,745 personal military and petrochemical advisers to Saddam Hussein.

HOLIDAYS: France has more days off than any other nation in the world—704 every 365-day year. National holidays include 197 days for saints, 37 National Liberation Days, 16 Declaration of Republic Days, 54 Return of General Charles de Gaulle in Triumph as if He Won World Two Single-Handed Days, 18 Napoleon Sent into Exile Days, 17 Napoleon Called Back from Exile Days, and 112 France is Great and the Rest of the World is Rubbish Days. Other important holidays are Peaceful Nuclear Bomb Day, the Feast of Brigitte Bardot Day, and National Guillotine Day.

CONCLUSION: France enjoys a rich history, a picturesque landscape, Lovely towns, and a temperate climate. In short, it would be a very nice country if it weren't inhabited by French people. 

WARNING: Consular services of the U.S. government are intended Primarily to promote business abroad. In the event, however, you are the victim of a crime or serious injury involving at least the loss of a limb, report any Tuesday to the American Embassy between 5:20 and 5:25 a.m., and a consular official (a French local who is supremely attuned to your plight) will give you a list of qualified dentists or taxidermists.

Remember, no one ordered you to visit France. Loyal Americans vacation in Miami Beach, and we advise you to do the same. Good luck, mazeltov, Buena suerte—or even bon chance, if you insist on speaking funny.

Doctor Sinister says:    What do loyal Englishmen or S.INC citizens do?

    

(273) Date:      17/02/03

Name:    AMERICAN BADASS

Sex:  male

Age:     25 to 30

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...WILLIAM PETERSON TALKS ABOUT NOT SAYING SHIT TO FRENCH PEOPLES FACES,I BEAT THEIR ASSES ALL THE TIME,YOU CANNOT FIGHT AT ALL.YOU EVER SEEN A GREAT FRENCH BOXER NO THEY COME FROM AMERICA OR ENGLAND YOU STUPID FUCK.MY GRANDFATHER FUCKED OVER A HUNDRED FRENCH WHORES HOW DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL FROGBOY.WE ARE NUMBER ONE AND WE ALWAYS WILL BE,SO GO SUCK SOME MORE ARAB COCK YOU FRENCH BITCH.AND DO WHAT THE ARABS TELL YOU.....AMERICA  ALWAYS NUMBER ONE!!!!!(Britain aint to fuckin far behind,either (thank you) !!) WE SHOULD NUKE FRANCE BUT IT WOULD RELEASE TOO MANY FRENCH PARTICLES INTO THE ATMOSPHERE AND POLLUTE THE EARTH WITH THEIR FILTHY SCUM   EAT SHIT FROGS!!!!HAHAHAHA

Doctor Sinister says:    Erm, I admire your sentiments, but can you please stop shouting now?

 

(272) Date:      17/02/03

Name:    RICH POWERFUL AND IN CHARGE

Sex:  male

Age:     25 to 30

Comment:    I HOPE YOU FRENCH PIGS READ THIS YOU SPINELESS BITCHES STAY THE FUCK OUT OF AMERICA IF IT IS SO BAD HERE WHY ARE YOU ALL MOVING HERE??STAY IN YOUR OWN PISS GUTTER OF A COUNTRY!!YOU SAY WE HAVE NO CULTURE??WE ARE 225 YEARS OLD YOU FUCKING DOLT AND WE HAVE BEEN THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THE ADVANCEMENT OF HUMANKIND  ELECTRICITY  AUTOMOBILES  TELEPHONE TELEVISION MEDICINE COMPUTERS NEVER EXISTED BEFORE WE CAME ALONG!!!WHAT THE FUCK DID THE FRENCH DO FOR HUMANITY NOTHING!!!!!NO CULTURE?? AMERICAN MUSIC RULES THE PLANET AMERICAN PRODUCTS RULE THE PLANET AMERICAN AUTOMOBILES ARE CLASSIC .FRENCH FASHION MY ASS!!!CAN YOU SAY LEVIS  NIKE POLE TOMMY HILFIGER FUBU AND EVERYFUCKING THING ELSE!HAS ANYONE EVER HEARD OF A FRENCH MUSICAL ACT!!!COTROEN OR CORVETTE??SNAILS OR FRIED CHICKEN AND BEEF?? i am going to go beat up a frenchman and then fuck his ugly ass sister right now.stay out of america.

Doctor Sinister says:    Yes, that's the one, just try using it a little earlier next time.

 

(271) Date:      17/02/03

Name:    MY BIG SUPERIOR BEEF EATNG GUN TOTING WORL LEADER IN EVERYTHING ASS

Sex:  male

Age:     25 to 30

Comment:    To all you WEAK ASS ROTTEN TEETH SPINELESS FROGS: AMERICA IS NUMBER ONE AND YOU CANT TAKE IT HA FUCKING HA.OUR AVERAGE HEIGHT IS  3 INCHES TALLER THAN YOU!!NOW WHO HAS THE BIG DICKS YOU FILTHY FUCKING EUROSWINE!!YOU ARE WHORES TO THE ARABS JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHERS AND GRANDMOTHERS WERE TO AMERICAN AND BRITISH DICK WHEN THE "REAL MEN" SAVED YOUR WEAK ASSES!!HOW DARE YOU BADMOUTH THE U.S. WE OWN YOUR ASSES YOU LITTLE BITCHES.WE HAVE ALL THE LAND FRESH WATER  BEEF OIL AND WHISKEY WE NEED!!!HAHAHAHA  SHVE IT UP YOU "CUL" FROGS!!!

Doctor Sinister says:    Try using the Shift key if you are having problems with lower-case letters.

 

(270) Date:      17/02/03

Name:    Sage

Sex:  male

Age:    Old as the hills.

Comment:    Sage sez:

This has to do with my last message and the events at NATO
today, Sunday the 16th of February. I am still laughing my ass off
and my cat had to be sedated. She's a franco-DEphile from way back. :~)
To the point that there is a french flag lining her cat box! Good kitty.

Now, as I mentioned in my previous post/rant, the french have made *the*
blunder in European politics to my view. And, as the good Doctor has
educated me that it was all indeed his masterplan, it has led me to a
couple of observations. These relate to the sheer stupidity of the
french. And I am serious here :) this is unbelievable to me...along the
lines of the earlier post on the site: The Complete History of france
to wit:

In it's history the french have shown an arrogance unsurpassed even by
Amereekanz. So much so, that it is one of those things equal to:
Be careful what you wish for.

1) Pre history - apes in caves of france spawn the french.
--- Euro-history to which are more YOUR stories to share.

2) That unpleasantness a couple of hundred years ago by some rebellious
hicks and King George. The french got involved only to poke the collective
eye of Britain. Let's face facts france...that's the truth. OK? Sux to be 
ya...move on.
Now...think about this a minute. Answer me this: WHY would ONE
monarchy help a group of hellions overthrow another monarchy (albeit, 
Parliamentary)?
I think you and I would have thought twice about
doing that action as it might lead to the VERY same result at home had our 
government
demonstrated by its actions that it's an ok thing to do.
The french did indeed learned that lesson (well, it
was demonstrated to them...not sure if they learned) and to quote
the American Symbol of manliness, Homer J Simpson, they said: D'oh!
They promptly lost their heads. Two down and counting...NEXT!

3) WWI -- over analyzed but the same lesson.
4) WWII -- ditto

5) 1960 (60-something :) the extremely astute french decided they
were superior to everyone on the planet and did NOT need to be
protected by the collective. Easy for them to say since they
were surrounded BY the collective on all sides. They're so
brave I get misty. So, in this wisdom they pulled out of NATO
the organic vision of that protection...even the stronger nations
belong for the protection of all.

6) Sundry stupidity...
Flash forward to the present...

7) 2003 -- wanting to demonstrate humongous phallic prowess, france
decided to flex its *might* and try to block the protection of one
of the NATO members. Not being a war-monger myself, I am not ready
to jump on the war wagon and tend to allow free discussion. However, I 
generally
do this in a private manner and not in public as to expose any stupidity
on my part. If I am to be embarrassed, I chose to do it with a friend
in private thank you.
Oh contraire the french.. We will demonstrate how wonderful and strong
we are in public. Fine, thanks for sharing..now be a good frog and go get 
us our dinner.

So, what does NATO do? Since france in it's infinite wisdom decided back
in the 60's to pull out of the military arm of NATO they were well, how
can was say it? Irrelevant? Therefore, being irrelevant you are
not needed at any military meeting. france, per your wishes, you have NO vote.
And france has NO vote because of their arrogance back in the 60's.
You asked for independence and now you have it. You're an island
afloat in a Europe that is ignoring you. Even ur bed mates the germans
see which side of the knockwurst the kraut is on. The belgians...yes,
I do need my shoes shined.

Again, you're pure genius in your execution of your *plan*.

Doctor Sinister says:    When S.INC rules the world, the dictionary definition of the word "France" will mean "irrelevant".  Either that or we will remove the word completely - after all, it's not like anyone will need to use it.

 

(269) Date:      16/02/03

Name:    Matthew Sanfilippo

Sex:  male

Age:     21 to 25

Comment:    It's funny, I noticed that a french "person" said that America has no culture of its own.  Actually Frenchie, do you want to see America culture for yourself?  Have a look around your house, and in the cities in your pathetic, insignificant country, you will see plenty.  For that matter it's all over the world, so suck it.  A Proud American who sees throught the French anit-war stance for what it really is (hint, hint, their oil/trade deals with Iraq, and the fact that French companies have helped Iraq build chemical weapons facilities-gee is that why they don't want the US and England to go into Iraq?)

Doctor Sinister says:    The only French "culture" I know about is that blue mould stuff they stick into their cheese.  It's probably got a higher IQ than the whole French nation too.

 

(268) Date:      16/02/03

Name:    Not given

Sex:  male

Age:     Old as the hills

Comment:    How do you say, 'I didn't see anything,' in French?  Hans Blix

Doctor Sinister says:    You aren't Hans Blix.  I know this, because he's here with me right now reading a Spider-Man comic.

 

(267) Date:    16/02/03          

Name:    James Cornell

Sex:  male

Age:     Old as the hils

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I talk to French girls.... They hate Americans. All French people do!

Doctor Sinister says:    Probably.

 

(266) Date:      15/02/03

Name:    Sage

Sex:  male

Age:    Old as the hills.

Comment:    Hey, S.INC.. NOW is your chance to take over the EU and begin your world domination. france and germany have made the *blunder* you need to move in and take over!!! It's always been somewhat amusing to me that the french I know have said how wonderful the EU is and how it will counter the USA. I would laugh and think of Eddie Izzard's comment on the oft mentioned UNITY of the EU: "Oh wait, we all hate each other". It is now palpable.

franco-german domination of the current EU is now in question....just ripe for a S.Inc takeover!

Get on with it and don't miss this opportunity before you.

The site is *tres amuzement*  Oops, did I say that out loud? :~))))
keep up the bashing...I love all the french, yank, brit bashing. Only those that cannot see the humor are doomed to extinction... ala the frenchies. Any race that has to legislate it's validity is doomed. Dontcha love it :~)))  I am evil.

the "not-so-wise but amused" sage

Doctor Sinister says:    Do you take me for a fool?  What makes you so sure I'm not ALREADY behind the whole thing?  Come on - who else do you know who would be capable of taking down the UN, EU and NATO in one fell swoop?  Who do you think sold the missile systems to Saddam in the first place and who do you think Hans Blix is really working for?  Agent Blix has been a member of S.INC for years.  This is MY masterplan - and things are proceeding exactly as I have foreseen.  Mind you, that's not to say we don't have a back-up plan in case it all goes wrong.  In fact, the millions of killer hamsters are being cloned and deep frozen even as I sit here and ponder my illuminated map of the world.  Oops, gotta go, the bulb for Belgium just blew.

 

(265) Date:      15/02/03

Name:    Kit Prose

Sex:  male

Age:     Under 15

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...people start behaving like the United Nations actually solves problems!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Doctor Sinister says:    I agree.  Everyone knows that the only TRUE way to get things done is to have a Dictatorship - and that's where I come in.

 

(264) Date:      15/02/03

Name:    John

Sex:  male

Age:     30 to 40

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when I hear that all of the problems in the Middle East are because of the USA's support of Israel and lack of support for a Palestinian state. So...once and for all, let's settle the issue. The UN should give France to the Palestinians. I'm sure the French would offer no resistance and could learn the language almost as quickly as they learned German. 

Doctor Sinister says:  An inspired solution and one that I would whole-heartedly recommend.

 

(263) Date:      14/02/03

Name:    Christopher    

Sex:  male

Age:     21 to 25

Comment:    NEWSFLASH-

AMERICA, THE FRENCH-CANADIANS HAVE FINNALY AGREED TO GIVE THE UNITED STATES, 2 CANADIAN NAVAL BATTLESHIPS, AND 24 FIGHTER JETS. AFTER THE EXCHANGE RATE WE ENDED UP WITH 1 CANOE AND 2 FLYING SQUIRRELS

Doctor Sinister says:  As many as two flying squirrels?  Wow, they've increased their firepower then.

 

(262) Date:      14/02/03

Name:    Mary Barbee

Sex:  female

Age:  not given

Comment:    Dear Doctor Sinister,

I was searching for Anti-French jokes, and ended up at your S.INC website. You are the funniest person I have seen in ages! I hate the French too! ...they're so hate-able! Not really, just their rediculous air of cultural superiority...their Cordon Bleu and that place that keeps their language "pure". Seriously, I hope you Brits can keep the pound sterling and leave the funny money to the rest of Europe. I have sent your website address to everyone I know...they will love it...despite your misguided opinion that Americans have no sense of irony. What, are you kidding me? I have laughed all night reading your guest book! Hate us Americans if you must, but we love you Brits! (Blood being thicker than water, and all that...) And you, sir, are one of the most creative misanthropes I have ever run across. Seriously, I love your humor and your website. Thanks again for the good time! (I nearly fell off my chair when I read the one about the guy that REALLY thought you didn't know that Chateau was a castle...my GOD!) Hahhahaaaaaaaaa A testimony to the intellect of a Frog....hahahahaaaaaaaaaaa (actually, he was American I'm sorry to say)

Mary Barbee
Williams, Arizona, USA

Q...Why are camels called "Ships of the desert"?
A...Because they are full of Iraqi semen. :>) MB 

Doctor Sinister says:    The bloke who was rattling on about the Chateau really wound me up and caught me on a bad day - hence my vitriolic response to him. I don't usually reply personally to everyone who mails to the Guestbook but that guy provoked an instant response. I think it was because I had spent the whole of the previous week hunting down some Dinosaurs that had escaped from one of our underground laboratory complexes and I wasn't in a very good mood. Somehow they had gotten out onto S.INC Island itself and we lost an entire town to a particular breed of radioactive Stegosaurus that had been genetically reengineered to eat people. In the end, we had to redeploy one of our orbital lasers to surgically remove the monsters from the face of the planet.  Alas, the laser concerned then ran out of fuel and couldn't be moved again without sending up a shuttle or launching a new one. 

Do you have any idea how expensive orbital lasers are to replace?

 

(261) Date:      14/02/03

Name:    siegfried hand (job)

Sex:  not given

Age:     not given

Comment:    A cool joke for u ;

How would you love that the welcome's panel is does written after tunnel under the sleeve? Well come in angland, the 51 state of the United States, recognized servant's school for american people ?

Doctor Sinister says:    Are you dyslexic? This E-mail makes no sense whatsoever.

Controversy corner - I would rather the UK become the 51st state of the USA than remain with the bunch of ignorant appeasing assholes that make up the European Union.  At least the Americans speak the same language as the English and have a hell of a lot more in common with the British than a bunch of foul-smelling unwashed European pigs who can't even agree amongst themselves whether or not they want to defend themselves in an effective manner.  Ludicrous.

As it is, I see no particular need for the UK to affix itself to any large political entity - it has a prime position in that it can trade with the USA or Europe in equal measure.  Do you see the Japanese being hassled to join some great pan-Asian superstate?  I think not, yet their island nation is in  similar strategic position to the British Isles with an equally long history of being able to manage perfectly well on their own, thank you very much.  Besides, the UK has the Commonwealth and is also quite capable of trading with them as well with its own currency and sovereignty.

None of this makes the slightest bit of difference however as all countries will soon be ruled by ME!

 

(260) Date:       14/02/03

Name:    Mark M. Newdick

Sex:  male

Age:     not given

Comment:       Snails and frogs are cold blooded, slimy, bottom-crawlers that eat bugs and dead things ... and you are what you eat!

Doctor Sinister says:  Absolutely.

 

(259) Date:       13/02/03

Name:    alleznikervosmeres

Sex:  male

Age:     21 to 25

Comment:   CENSORED AS WRITTEN IN FRENCH

Doctor Sinister says:  No!

 

(258) Date:       13/02/03

Name:    Mark M. Newdick

Sex:  male

Age:     not given

Comment:       Anti French.

Love the website!

Here's one I heard the other day:

Fighting a war without the French would be like going hunting without your accordion.

And, of course, the greatest thing about the French is the English Channel ... and thank goodness we have the IRA to blame for any unfortunate tragedy that might befall the Chunnel.

And here's something I wrote myself (truly) last Saturday ... it amused me:

B-Day

Because Bush and Blair back bombing Baghdad, bickering Europe broker breathing-space by broaching the idea of blue bonneted battalions to bolster the bartering Blix, while Iraqis bravely back into brick built bunkers and barrel buyers balk as oil bills breach new highs (Britain’s bonus bonanza).

But the Butcher of Baghdad (blasé about bullets breaking bones), beggars belief by brandishing bombast, with blunt bulletins to bully bravery from battered brigades and bitterly blasting British bombers bashing blockhouses by bombs and brickbat. 

By and by, buttresses breached, Bush and Blair (both bosom buddies) will bustle briskly to Baghdad, bury bygones and bring buckets of bucks to build beautiful bridges and broker better deals for barrel bills.

And thus the boys will be brought back to Blighty … bruised and bloodied, but buttons and badges buffed bright with Brasso, these brave and bold will march back to barracks by the balcony at Buckingham Palace, down broad bunting bound boulevards, bringing bands of bagpipers blowing ballads (broadcast by the BBC to a beaming Britain).

But before long, bounders beaten, Blair bounces back at the ballot box.

Blimey!

Doctor Sinister says:    Yes indeed - Blimey!

 

(257) Date:       13/02/03

Name:    OH

Sex:  male

Age:     30 to 40

Comment:   Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... I hear the nefarious, wretched, duplicitous French talking about the lack of MORALITY of a war on Iraq.  THIS from the people who turned gunboats on their own allies during the last war.  THIS from people who capitulated like a knife through butter when the Bosch marched happily over their borders.  THIS from people who were selling weapons to Argentina as we fought the Falklands War.  What's more they don't wash and are about as charming as a stuffed artichoke.  It really is time they were eliminated for the good of the world....

Doctor Sinister says:    That's my boy - tell it how it is.  You are a man after my own heart (but you can't have it - I need it).

 

(256) Date:   13/02/03

Name:    William Peterson

Sex:  male

Age:     18 to 21

Comment:   Fuck all of you prejusticed small dicked Americans. If you had half a fucking brain, you wouldnt be writing such bullshit. Don't be angry at us because we take your wives and fuck them while your busy at a dead end job. If your so fucking brave, come and say what you need to say in our face isnstead of beingf the low life all of you are and say it on some bullshit website.

Pathetic little shits

Doctor Sinister says:    What the hell?  How many times do I have to say this - I AM NOT AN AMERICAN.  Say what the hell you like about them - I DON'T CARE.

And while you're about it - learn to spell.

 

(255) Date:   13/02/03

Name:    MikeDorman

Sex:  male

Age:     Old as the hills

Comment:   Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...I notice how many defeats the American military has had such as  every time they tried to enter Canada during the war of 1812, Pearl Harbor, Corrigador, Bataan, Viet Nam or how they wait until the war is half over before they come out of hiding like WW I and WW II, or how they boast about great victories like Grenada, Panama or Iraq and other major powers.

Doctor Sinister says:    Are you trying to upset me?  Because if you've bothered to read this site you'll know that I'm not American - yes?

 

(254) Date:   13/02/03

Name:    Sean

Sex:  male

Age:     30 to 40

Comment:   Even though I'm from the States I don't have a problem with the Brits, most of us here like the Brits based on our history together, aside from that whole Revolution thing. We do however hate the Frogs. That's basically because they helped us at one time (and that was just to piss off the UK) and then acted uppity later. It is no one's fault but their own they got uppity and ungrateful in the past century. They lost pretty much all their empire & are sore. They built the inpenitrable Maginot Line and surrendered in what, 6 weeks? They pussied out of Vietnam, left us holding the bag of shit and we lost of lot of good sons there. I wish I had some good jokes but all I have is rhetoric. I do suggest you go to http://www.flashbunny.org/content/frenchmagazine.html, good magazine coverage of the Frogs.

Doctor Sinister says:    I agree - the French resent the USA's increased power and authority and hate their own current impotence in the world as a whole.  At least the UK gave up much of her Empire with a bit more grace than the Frogs ever demonstrated.  Although, frankly, if we'd been allowed to keep control of the Middle East (impractical as that was) we wouldn't be having the problems we are right now.

 

(253) Date:   12/02/03

Name:    Pat Long

Sex:  female

Age:    Old as the hills     

Comment:   Complete Military History of France

There are some intriguing bits of history scattered throughout this "Frog Bashing" item.
Can you identify each of the 7?

WATCH THE FROG! -- SURE

For the Francophiles among us, here is the newly compiled Complete Military History of France:

- Gallic Wars: Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

- Hundred Years War: Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic*(1) who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman."

- Italian Wars: Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars to Italians.

- Wars of Religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots

- Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other combatants lost interest.

- War of Devolution*(2): Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.

- The Dutch War: Tied

- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War: Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles to label the period as the height of French military power.

- War of the Spanish Succession: Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough*(3), which they have loved every since.

- American Revolution: France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

- French Revolution: Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

- The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Temporary victories due to leadership of a Corsican*(4), who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer*(5).

- The Franco-Prussian War: Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunken frat boy to France's ugly-girl-home-alone-on-a-Saturday-night.

- World War I: Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the U.S. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

- World War II: Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song*(6).

- War in Indochina: Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu

- Algerian Rebellion: Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkish Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux*(7).

- War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Iraqis, Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador, but fails after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

Answers:
1. Jean D'Arc
2. Begun by Louis XIV for the conquest of the Spanish Netherlands (includes Belgium)
3. Also known as Marlborough's Wars. The Duke of Marlborough never lost a battle or skirmish.
4. Napoleon
5. Duke of Wellington -- forced Napoleon to abdicate in 1814
6. Most famous Nazi song of the war --official Nazi anthem
7. Eskimos

*This was submitted to an anonymous chat group, so there is no way to know the very clever author's name. You may check further at: Briefing Notebook(iktome@aristotle.net)

Doctor Sinister says:    Masterpiece - sheer bloody masterpiece.  I'm not even going to be sarcastic about it - it's that perfect.

 

(252) Date:   12/02/03

Name:    Paul    

Sex:  male

Age:    18 to 21 

Comment:   No complaint at all, I'm French and your French jokes almost had me smiling.

I thought that an anti-American joke section could be even funnier so I found a few anti-American jokes.

1) What's the main difference between Americans and yoghurt?

   After a while yoghurt develops some kind of culture.

2) What's the best way to prevent American teenage girls from getting pregnant?

   Give free condoms to their fathers.

3) What do you call a smart, upright, honest and cultured man at the White House ?

   A tourist.

       If you don't get these jokes feel free to e-mail me and I'll try to explain them to you.

       See ya wouldn't wanna be ya !

Doctor Sinister says:    Great jokes.  Would have been even funnier if you had READ THE WEBSITE ADDRESS and discovered that I AM NOT AN AMERICAN.  Apart from that - nice try.  When is your brain being returned?

 

(251) Date:   12/02/03

Name:    Frenchie Pretros

Sex:  male

Age:     25 to 30

Comment:   Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when I read my fu!@ing fellow frenchman that don't have a sense of humour! They should be forced to eat boiled beef with mint to pay for their narrow minds! Andouilles!

Doctor Sinister says:   But only if it was British Beef of course.  The French have seen fit to maintain a ban on its sale, despite an ORDER from the EU to allow it to be sold in French stores.  Of course, this has nothing to do with the French trying to protect their own trade - oh no.

 

(250) Date:   11/02/03

Name:  Melissa 

Sex:  female

Age:     15 to 18

Comment:   Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... Im poor and shit..and the only money i DO get is my lunch money, and i spent it on this hematite 6gauge CBR, and when i got it, it fell apart, and litterally..like ive never seen , i was so mad

Doctor Sinister says:    Melissa - I wish I knew what this all meant.

 

(249) Date:   10/02/03

Name:    not given

Sex:    not given  

Age:     Old as the hills

Comment:    CENSORED AS WRITTEN IN FRENCH

Doctor Sinister says:    Just stop.  You are only wasting your own time.  Learn another language - or stagnate like the rest of your country.

 

(248) Date:   03/02/03

Name:    Satan

Sex:  male

Age:     15 to 18

Comment:   Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... those French bastards have made an anti-american site!!!

http://fusa2.free.fr

Doctor Sinister says:    Oh well, shit happens.

 

(247) Date:   31/01/03

Name:    Joe Monntanna

Sex:  male

Age:    Old as the hills. 

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... they make canes sooooo tall

Doctor Sinister says:    Yeah, whatever.

 

(246) Date:   24/01/03

Name:   anti-USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sex:  male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    live French!! in dead the USA!! this site is nul.It does not have any interest

Doctor Sinister says:  Sigh.  Still not American.  Couldn't care less.  Stop sending messages twice.  You are a double-fuckwit.

 

(245) Date:   24/01/03

Name:   anti-USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Sex:  male

Age:    Under 15

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...

Doctor Sinister says:  ...you can't think of anything to say?  So that would be why you sent this message twice then?

I've just got one thing to say in response - I've said it before but I'll say it again - I'm not American.  So your witty name and fake witty E-mail address are wasted on me.  You sir, are a fuckwit.

 

(244) Date:   23/01/03

Name:   Thorain

Sex:  male

Age: 21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when... I am forced to deal with stupid freshmen. Stupid freshmen should be locked up in pens and force educated.

Doctor Sinister says:    And you were never a freshman yourself?  

 

(243) Date:   04/01/03

Name:   Casey Jones, master of the railroad

Sex:  male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo ANGRY when...  You try and download pictures of "18yearolds" an' they all look OLD ENOUGHT TO BE YOUR MOM!!!    VIRGIN MY ASS!!!!  Then all you get for your troubles are never ending pop ups.  When you become ruler, will you make mass amouts of porn free to all?  And then, rednecks!! Why is it that half the americans I have the misfortune to meet are Rednecks!!

Doctor Sinister says:  Erm, I dunno.

 

(242) Date:   03/01/03

Name:   Eric Wolf

Sex:  male

Age: not given

Comment:    Love your website dude, it's so . . . . strange. I also hate the French, as well as most other people in the world. When I have a bit more free time on my hands, I will read the whole shebang.

Regards,
Eric Wolf
The Wicked Scholar's Society

Doctor Sinister says:  Thank you.

 

(241) Date:   03/01/03

Name:   Casey Jones, master of the railroad

Sex:  male

Age:    21 to 25

Comment:    Oh my God I get sooooo Fuckin ANGRY when... I purchase a "quality T-72 tank"  from a oily little prick in an arms Bazaar and when I go to whack some old aquaintances the damn thing backfires before I can shoot and alerts the inbred american to my evil plan!  But of course, is piece if shit muscle car cant outrun 43tons of rampaging Soviet terror!  I must admit, this was a much more satisfying rub out then a simple shooting or drowning or axeing.  By the way, when you take over the world can I do two things? 
1: Beat to death every member of the British Conservative Catholics(look them up, the french have NOTHING on them)
2:Turn the Kremlin into my own personal whore house
Fuck the Yanks

Doctor Sinister says:  No.

 

(240) Date:   01/01/03

Name:   mind ure own

Sex:  female

Age:    15 to 18

Comment:    Ure website is so good. I especially like the turd markeing thingy. i was lookin at ure guestbook and it is soo funny when the french ppl complain about ure site (they shouldnt be french in the first place). Oh well....this isnt a complaint i just wanted 2 talk 2 sum 1. hhhelp meeee im going crazeeeeee .......... 

Doctor Sinister says:  Yes, I can see that.