SINISTER INCORPORATED

 Initially prepared to encourage German volunteers for the Wehrmacht, this poster was translated into English to reveal to the British Hitler's plans to turn the Polish countryside into one massive theme park, a bit like Alton Towers.

In addition to the biggest roller coaster ride on the planet, there were plans to have enormous bumper-car arenas where one could drive around in a MkII Panzer and crush small animals. The British populace was disturbingly interested in this proposition and many ports had to be blocked by the Royal Navy to prevent defection until the crisis had passed.

This poster was actually commissioned by the Propaganda Ministry but bears the name of the newly-formed "Third Reich Tourist Association".

When British troops were first sent into combat in France, they were told not to worry about any German tanks that they saw. It was thought at the time that most of the tanks were in fact cardboard cut-outs to swell the German ranks. Whilst it is now thought that this information was a miscalculation on the part of British intelligence, several British soldiers did in fact discover that this rumour was true. Many people amazingly still fail to appreciate that the enormous firestorm that heralded the destruction of Antwerp was in fact caused by the setting alight of several thousand pieces of German "armour" by a crack team of British chefs. This enormous loss set the German armed forces back by many weeks.

Many German dive-bombers were similarly constructed of cardboard and cellophane which explains why they were so superior to anything the Polish had to offer as a defence.

Back to the previous page

OR, IF YOU PREFER:

Straight to the Comments Page if you want to complain...