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If we can't have the world, no-one can!


  
 
 
 
 
  

 

Federal Bank of Sinister PLC

 An Associate Company of BCCI (UK) PLC

The bank that likes to SERVE *

 * As long as you don't ask for anything too complicated

Are you looking for a new kind of bank account?

SinBank can provide you with a current account tailored to your needs

Just don't complain when you are presented with stupidly large yearly charges

 

Do you want services that other banks simply refuse to provide?

SinBank can customise your account to fit your exact requirements

But expect lots of irritated "tutting" from the spotty-faced staff when you ask for anything out of the ordinary, or anything at all in fact

 

Is exemplary service an absolute must?

Unlike other banks, SinBank do not subscribe to the theory of abusive letters when you go overdrawn

No, we'll just RING you at WORK to tell you to sort out your f*cking account or take the bloody business elsewhere, you f*cking sponger

 

 

Start an account with the SinBank NOW, and receive one of three fabulous free gifts!

 

 

A Magnifying Glass

Useful for reading the interminable small print when we present you with yet another charge

 

 

This Beautiful Plastic Wall Clock

Which will probably break down as soon as you hang it up, assuming we remember to send this piece of shit to you to start with

 

 

 

A Very Cheap Stereo

Only suitable for giving away to your worst enemy, why do you think we gave it to you?

 

Remember that your money is safest with us.

How can we be so certain of this?

Because only SinBank invest your money in the form of buying NUCLEAR WEAPONS for Sinister Incorporated, a form of investment that guarantees the safety of your cash for evermore!

Just remember that you must give us thirty days notice of your intention to draw out any money at all, so we can go and rob some other mug to cover our debt to you

SinBank

Suitable for business, suitable for the family

YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE